If you've never made the trip, there's only one way to enter Candyland: Get a group of festively costumed friends together, drop a tab and a little gamma-hydroxybutyrate, spin some drum 'n' bass (or maybe dubstep, if you're under 21), and then dial up the nostalgic '90s quotient. Soon a strange time-space tunnel will open up. This is your only chance! Jump inside and follow the trail of glowsticks to Mekka!
Alright, we lied. There's a second way: Buy a $20 pre-sale ticket on the Internet, call a cab, and tell the driver you wanna go to 950 NE Second Ave. Yes, it'll make for a way less epic post-party tale. But at least you'll be guaranteed to make it on time to the 15th edition of South Florida's self-described "longest running dance event." Who knows what kind of wrong turns you might make if you try to follow our earlier directions?
With Starkillers, Ed Rush, Starkey, Otto Von Schirach, Juan Basshead, and a dozen others. 10 p.m. Friday, December 17, at Mekka, 950 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-371-3773; mekkamiami.com. Tickets cost $20. Ages 18 and up.
Whichever way you get there, though, expect Candyland's usual winter rave scene: multiple party rooms overflowing with DJs, producers, and borderline live acts (i.e. Vegas's Starkillers, Brit d'n'b legend Ed Rush, and local bass alien Otto Von Schirach) mashing up dance music across decades while the mob totally loses its mind.
Holy crap. There's that time-space tunnel. See you in Candyland.