Canceled! Bret Michaels's Super Cruise Gets Sunk
Do you hear that high-pitched wail?
This morning, America's peroxide blonde, bubble-bodied, wannabe hair metal vixens have locked themselves in public washroom across the country and they're weeping uncontrollably while squealing out the chorus to Bret Michaels's "Wasted Time."
No, unfortunately, the former Poison frontman and eyeliner enthusiast's incredibly annoying VH1 crapfest, Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It, hasn't been banned from basic cable.
Instead, Michaels' Super Cruise has been canceled.
The four-day sea trip was supposed to sail from the Port of Miami on November 10, arriving in Cozumel, Mexico, for a scene straight outta the music video for "Nothin' But a Good Time."
Mary Chapin Carpenter
TicketsWed., Oct. 26, 7:30pm
TicketsWed., Oct. 26, 8:00pm
Anthony Hamilton With Lalah Hathaway & Eric Benet
TicketsThu., Oct. 27, 7:30pm
Alessia Cara: Know-It-All Tour Part II
TicketsFri., Oct. 28, 7:30pm
Sully Erna: Hometown Tour 2016
TicketsFri., Oct. 28, 8:00pm
But when America's peroxide blonde, bubble-bodied, wannabe hair metal vixens visit bretmichaelscruise.com now, all they'll see is two line of bold, red letters: "We are sorry to announce that the cruise has been cancelled. All passengers with reservations have been or will be contacted shortly. Thank you."
According to TMZ, Super Cruisers "received an official cancellation notice from the cruise company citing 'lack of participation'" on Tuesday, while Michaels insists the "'less-than-reputable promoter'" is the asshole who sunk this sea trip.
Either way, all you weeping babes with the feathered bangs needn't worry ... You've got the Bret Michaels guarantee: "All money will be refunded to you."
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