Recently, Perez Hilton reported that tickets for Britney Spears' Femme Fatale tour are selling for half off. Apparently, the original prices were extremely expensive, in the range of $96 to $346.50, before fees.
But her boyfriend Jason Trawick is selling tickets on his site at a 50-percent discount, as was Groupon. And even with that deal, as of earlier this week, they didn't sell out seats.
Britney's been boring lately. But wow, half-priced tickets and not selling out? That sucks. It's sort of not surprising, though. Have you actually listened to the new Britney? Sure, her new video for "I Wanna Go" included a reference to Half Baked, but that's not enough to cool up this old tart.
We put together a list of five things that would make Britney worth the money.
If she became a teenager again, a la ...Baby One More Time
If time travel were possible in the way that one person could become young again for a few minutes while time stayed the same for everyone else, we could all go to our sexiest years for a few minutes to impress. Getting noticed by cute guys would be easier, getting out of tickets would, too. For Brit though, her career was based on being this young sexy girl, just old enough to bang. Now, she's a woman, but her music and look still say woman-child. You gotta grow with it, lady. You're not a girl anymore, you are a woman.
Get back to regular old pop music.
Out at a '90s themed dance party recently, friend DJ Hottpants played an old Spears tune. Perhaps it was the poorly punctuated "Oops!...I did it again." And you know what? Everyone danced to it, and everyone loved it, even former haters. Her newer music has been seriously only really gay friendly. "Hold It Against Me" is a club song. Even looking back at "Toxic," a fun dance tune, it doesn't stand the test of time nor does it appeal to a really wide audience. Just sayin'.
Bring the drama back.
Drama sucks. It's so sad and lame, but simply put, it puts butts in the seats. We like you better now, but if you wanna sell those three hundred dollar tickets, go be a bad mom or something.
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Become a style icon instead of just wearing whatever.
Britney used the tired old sex symbol of the school girl to make gross grown men drool. We admired that. But her look is so tired now. It's like, you're a mom, so it's cool, we don't want to see your beaver all fuzzy on TV, but in this "I Wanna Go" video, she looks like Tommy Lee's little sister. Go back to the cutesy stuff, or get thee to a vintage store! Maybe, just maybe, then we will pay all you want to watch you strut onstage.
Britney Spears with Nicki Minaj, Jessie and the Toy Boys, and Nervo. Friday, July 22. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. The show starts at 7 p.m. and tickets cost $26.50 to $375 via ticketmaster.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.