We love Ricky Martin because he's a very charitable dude with a great pair of man boobs who really knows how to shake his "Bon-Bon." And we aren't ashamed to admit we'd love, love, love to spend this Thanksgiving stuffing a 25-pound turkey with lil' Enrique at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach.
So just imagine our delight when we discovered that the Beach's most historic hotel is offering special BleauLive Presents Ricky Martin holiday packages for November 24 through 27.
Basically, it's gonna be four full days of giving thanks, guzzling drinks, and filling our face with fancy Italian soul food at Scarpetta, all while honing our celeb-stalking skills. Sure, a weekend stay at the Bleau could end up costing a couple of months' salary. But when has livin' la vida loca ever come cheap?
BleauLive Presents Ricky Martin: Thursday, November 24, to Sunday, November 27, at Fontainebleau Miami Beach, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2000; fontainebleau.com. One- to three-day hotel packages cost $329 to $899 per night.
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Now, for those of us who spent Labor Day weekend with Pitbull getting drunk off Voli vodka at the Fontainebleau, this whole practice of hiring a Latin music superstar to be our friend for a few days is perfectly commonplace.
But for the novices, here's the deal: We (and other Martin maniacs just as fanatical) can reserve an evening (or three) with Ricky for a base rate of $329 per night, enjoying a "standard guest room," "two general admission [tickets] to [a] performance by Ricky Martin," a "two-hour open bar," and assorted amenities.
That's called the "Fan" package. Meanwhile, upgrades for "Bleau Fans," "High Rollers," and "VIPs" include junior and one-bedroom suites, better concert tix, and even a meet-and-greet with the "Bon Bon" boobman himself.
Unfortunately, though, it doesn't matter whether you're a lowly "Fan" or a cash-soaked "VIP" — there's absolutely no mention of a 25-pound turkey.