Beyoncé's Baby Bump! Top Five Pop Star Offspring In Honor of Queen B's Pregnancy | Crossfade | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
Navigation

Beyoncé's Baby Bump! Top Five Pop Star Offspring In Honor of Queen B's Pregnancy

The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards served as R&B megastar Beyoncé's formal announcement of her pregnancy with hip-hop mogul Jay-Z. With an heir to Hova's thrown on the way, Crossfade can't help but wonder: Will the baby have Beyoncé's booty? Jay-Z's lips? Both? Will this kid be a performer? Wouldn't...
Share this:

The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards served as R&B megastar Beyoncé's formal announcement of her pregnancy with hip-hop mogul Jay-Z.

With an heir to Hova's thrown on the way, Crossfade can't help but wonder: Will the baby have Beyoncé's booty? Jay-Z's lips? Both? Will this kid be a performer? Wouldn't it be weird if B came home from the hospital with a tiny little Chinese baby, but didn't really address it?



Crossfade can't wait to see this little baby all blinged out and eventually onstage with Mom and Pop. And in honor of the big news, we present our top five pop star offspring.




5. Willow and Jaden Smith

As the Fresh Prince became a bajillionaire Fresh King, he knew he was going to need some fresh angles to stay relevant with "the kids." And what better way to do that than with actual children? While Big Willie and Jada Pinkett started milking their progeny for every precious penny with 1997's chokingly sweet, "Just The Two of Us," the real dough didn't start to flow until the brilliantly named Jaden and Willow came into the picture.



4. Madonna's Menagerie

Madge collects kids like kids collect Pokémon cards. Here is an excellent clip demonstrating how fame and fortune can strip even children of the most basic privacy.



3. The Jacksons

Wacko Jacko dangling his son Prince Michael II -- more affectionately known as "Blanket" or "the weird one" (saying a lot considering the context) -- was a bit like the opening "Circle of Life" number from The Lion King. Only instead of biological cycles of life and death, Blanket's flailing little feet signify a Circle of Drug Abuse and Paparazzo. And don't forget: We've still got Prince Michael I and Paris to stalk.



2. Weezy's Babies

Someone needs to get Will Smith's kids together with Weezy's. Can you imagine? All of a sudden Willow is rapping like a Muppet Baby Nicki Minaj and Jaden is chugging kiddie sizzurp on the dance floor. Hey, check out the above video because the rapping might be better than anything Lil Wayne's dropped since Tha Carter III.



1. Frances Bean Cobain

The daughter of Kurt and Courtney is the 2011 version of the Olsen Twins for heavy-breathing, hairy-palmed indie rockers. And ever since she released some racy photos, our rambling, horndog news feeds make us yearn for simpler times like those depicted in the video above.



Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.