Best Christmas Stocking Stuffers for Rappers: From Rick Ross to Kanye West

Each year 'round the holidays, Crossfade readies itself to receive an influx of letters from Miami-Dade County hip-hop heads asking the one question that plagues rap fans around the country: What should we stuff our favorite rapper's stocking with this year?

Well, rather than replying to each letter individually, we've decided to publish a gift-giving guide this year.

From air-fresheners for Danny Brown to BPA-free water jugs for Trinidad James, hook that special MC in your life up with some thoughtful-ass swag in their stocking.

Check out the list after the cut.

See also:

-DMX Goes Hard on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" Cover, Shuts Bing Crosby Down

-A Skrillex Christmas and Ten Other Outrageous Light Displays Synched With Crappy Music

-Too Short Raps for Jews: "It's Hanukkah, Baby, Now Move That Ass Over"

-Pepe Billete's Christmas: Naked Cubanitas , Fake Rick Ross, and Yolis , AKA Cuban Molly

-DJ Khaled Christmas and Miami's Six Best Holiday 2012 Parties

Trinidad James

Stuffers: $15 Simon Giftcard, BPA-Free Water Bottle, and Jewelry Polishing Cloth

What do you get for the man who has "all gold everything?"

Well, James loves "hipster bitches that shop at Lennox" mall in Atlanta, so a Simon Property Group gift card is a thoughtful stocking stuffer, as is a jewelry polishing cloth to keep said "all gold everything" clean.

However, the sweetest gift you could give a sweaty someone who "popped a Molly" is a BPA-free water bottle, a reminder to stay hydrated while recreationally enjoying designer drugs.

Rick Ross

Stuffers: Pocketsize Notepad and a Wallet

With his "homie in the cell," Ross felt that he "had to write a poem." Surely, he'd love a compact notebook to jot some verses down when the mood strikes.

And even though people know better than to start shit with the Bawse, it's no excuse for Lil Woodie to have Rozay's money "rolled up in a rubber band."

Get a wallet.


Danny Brown

Stuffers: Febreze and an Everglades Airboat Tour for Two

These days, Danny Brown's bankrolling enough loot to be blowing "big blunts on the way brunch." And homie's been in the game long enough to know that you can never have enough Febreze in the whip; nothing neutralizes incriminating weed smoke better than an in-car air vent clip-on.

As for the Everglades airboat tour, Brown mentioned that "when thee bitches see [him], man, they wetter than the Everglades." We thought it'd be fun for him to take one of the ladies on a date.

Kendrick Lamar

Stuffers: A Copy of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and Therapy Sessions

Lamar "was in the dark room," music blaring as he vowed to "get fucked up," the same way granddaddy did with a "golden flask."

Alcoholism is serious shit, y'all. And before he dives any deeper into his "swimming pool of liquor," Kendrick Lamar should meet Bill W. and speak to shrink.

Kanye West

Stuffers: Welcome Mat and Koozies

Dude's always in the market for real estate, it seems. First, Kanye's eyeing property in Miami with Kim Kardashian. Now he's "looking at a crib next to where TC lives, that's Tom Cruise."

Wherever he ends up, he'll need a welcome mat that reminds people to wipe their feet.

The Koozies are simply for "refreshments," particularly "cool, cool beverages."

Merry Christmas.

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