Wanna party like a BCS champ?
On Monday evening, the 2013 Bowl Championship Series comes to Miami when the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Alabama Crimson Tide hit the gridiron at Sun Life Stadium to do battle for college football's 2013 national title.
In the meantime, though, we all gotta get drunk, buy a lapdance, and shit-kick it to some country music. So just check the cut for Crossfade's BCS National Championship party guide.
The Opium Group's National Championship Nightlife Weekend Pass. Friday, Saturday, and Monday, January 4, 5, and 7. 10 p.m. Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Passes cost $80 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Go H.A.M. in the club for 96 straight hours with this $80 three-day pass to South Beach's Mansion and Cameo. It covers Super Fridays, Others Play House party on Saturday, and a special post-game BCS edition of Excess Mondays. But yeah, that's right, baller ... Lapdance Tuesdays not included.
The RedCupNation.com College Football Championship Pre-Party. With Frank Flush and John Cash. Friday, January 4. Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Never thought you'd be twanging "Red solo cup, I fill you up/Let's have a party, let's have a party" at a South Beach megaclub, huh? Well, all that might change with tonight's RedCupNation.com College Football Championship Pre-Party. Proceed to party, proceed to party.
Don't cross the Leprechaun.
Notre Dame and Alabama Pep Rallies. As part of the Orange Bowl Discover Fan Zone. Noon to 8 p.m. Saturday, January 5. Ocean Drive, between Seventh and Ninth streets, Miami Beach; 305-341-4700; orangebowl.org. Admission is free. It's gonna be Notre Dame blue and gold vs. Alabama red and white on Ocean Drive. So be careful about picking your outfit. Otherwise, you might end up getting a Fighting Irish trombone in the ass. Or being the unwitting victim of a vicious "Rammer Jammer" attack.
Disco Rick and Celebrity Saturdays. With DJs Prince Marky Dee and Ace. 9 p.m. King of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., North Miami Beach; 305-999-9500; twitter.com/KOD_Miami. Everyone knows a trip to Miami isn't complete till you get sacked by King of Diamonds offensive line. So provided you ain't a broke-ass college sophomore, go meet Disco Rick at Celebrity Saturdays. Because as manager of this North Miami Beach nudie mecca, Rick is the KOD quarterback and head coach. (Dude was also a Miami bass legend with The Dogs and Gucci Crew II.) And Coach Disco Rick will definitely teach you how to properly blitz that booty.
Do the BCS with the Bus.
Jerome Bettis's Rock the Game Pep Rally. 1 to 6 p.m. Sunday, January 6.Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood; 954-327-7625; seminolehardrockhollywood.com. Admission is free. All aboard the Bus! 'Cause big homie Jerome Bettis knows how to party. And that's why the former Notre Dame and Pittsburgh Steelers running back will be hosting this Sunday's Rock the Game Pep Rally at a mo'fuckin' casino. According to the official hype, it's gonna be a "Free Event with Live Music, Free Prizes, Free Raffles, Free Parking, & Special Guest Appearances from Team Alabama & Team Notre Dame!"
Did somebody say "Free"?
Alabama's Big Al the Elephant is a pimp.
Brisco and the Official Alabama Kickoff Party. Hosted by Trent Richardson, Le'ron McClain, Mark Barron. With DJs Epps, Entice, and E-Feezy. Sunday, January 6. Bamboo Miami Beach, 550 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-4771; bamboomiamibeach.com. Tickets cost $20 to $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. While this football bash is being billed as the "Official Alabama Kickoff Party," it's still unclear whether coach Nick Saban and the 'Bama athletic department have actually endorsed this special editon of Prestige Sundays. Still, 305 rapper and football fanatic Brisco's gonna be there. Ditto Alabama alumni Trent Richardson, Le'ron McClain, and Mark Barron. Oh, and Big Al the Elephant rubbin' up on some (human) ladies in the VIP.
Flo Rida and Dierks Bentley. As part of the Orange Bowl Discover Fan Zone. With DJ Irie and others. Noon to 8 p.m. Sunday, January 6. Ocean Drive, between Seventh and Ninth streets, Miami Beach; 305-341-4700; orangebowl.org. Admission is free. College ball's got two soundtracks ... Dance-hop and country pop. So go score a TD, notch a sack, and tailgate till sundown on South Beach with ripped Top 40 rapper Flo Rida and beer-slash-football fanatic Dierks Bentley. Note: There will also be inflatables, Dr. Pepper, a zip line, cheerleaders, and ice-cold Bud Light.
Luke Bryan. As part of the Bud Light Championship Game Day Fan Zone. Presented by Allstate. Monday, January 7. Sun Life Stadium, 2269 NW 199th St., Miami Gardens. Tickets cost $30, not included in the ticket price for the 2013 Discover BCS National Championship Game. Visit orangebowl.org. With just minutes to go till the game starts (and after four days of debauched football-related partying), you're gonna be exhausted, half-drunk, and a lil' sad about the impending end of all this BCS fun. But don't cry 'cause your Notre Dame or 'Bama superfan facepaint will run. Just choke down the tears and sing along with Luke Bryan: "I don't want this night to end! Gonna cuss the morning when it comes!"
And hell ... Who knows? Your team might not even lose.
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Rick Ross's BCS 2013 Afterparty. As part of Excess Mondays. 11 p.m. Monday, January 7. Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Ages 21 and up. According to Mansion's official hype, this BCS 2013 afterparty on South Beach is gonna be "the biggest baddest party to celebrate your team's win or drink away your sorrows. Expect lots of hip hop, Hennessy, bling, and excess."
But Rick Ross is a bit more contrite. He simply plans to go "bowlin' like a Bawse!"