Battles on Your Lap
Rappers blogging is an odd trend that seems to have taken hold last year, right around the time white MC Sage Francis took exception to a MySpace posting. The entry in question had been penned by far superior white MC Serch, former member of 3rd Bass and then-host of VH1's Ego Trip's The (White Rapper) Show.
Francis took exception to the show's premise. Or something. "Pardon the length of this letter, but I took my time to make sure that your new asshole would be top of the line," began Francis's missive on his own Website (www.sagefrancis.net), inspiring a war of words. (And man, you should see all the comments.) It's all over the Internet if you want to peep it, but do yourself a favor and don't.
Since then, hippity-hoppers have joined the laptop literati in swarms, and things have gotten weird. Bun B, of UGK, recently penned a truly mind-blowing entry at HipHopDX.com:
"So I'm in Indianapolis right.... Just did a show last night with Big Mike, Devin the Dude, Bushwick Bil [sic], and Scarface.... Great crowd.... So I check in my hotel and I see a lotta war vets in the buildin'.... Most r in wheelchairs, so I guess WWI."
WWI? That can't be right.
"These guys on this U.S. battleship brought the components for an atomic bomb that fucked up Japan aboard their ship to like Japan or some shit.... Anyway, on the way back, their ship got torpedoed and sank, taking 300+ down with it.... There were like 1100 onboard, so the other 800 sat bobbin' in the ocean for like 4 days.... If they didn't die of starvation or dehydration, the sharks ate they ass."
Even producer Just Blaze posted a no-budget YouTube video to promote his blog, themegatrondon.com. In this ostensibly humorous vignette, Blaze attempts to buy out hip-hop blogger Jay Smooth by throwing some bills in the air. Then he picks the money back up. (This is called "making it evaporate.") As for the blog itself, recent entries have been mainly concerned with the iPhone.
Bloggerapping's reigning superstar, however, has to be Talib Kweli, who will be in town August 4 for Rock the Bells at the AT&T Amphitheatre in Bayfront Park. Besides being a conscious rap pioneer, Kweli is a trailblazer when it comes to unspellchecked Internet commentary. His MySpace blog (www.myspace.com/talibkweli) dates back to 2004, though it seems likely he has been writing it himself since only 2005.
Lately he has gotten lazy (as bloggers inevitably do) and taken to posting videos and flyers. But on January 16 he typed a real doozy:
"I have a lot of respect for people like Will[.i.am], Mary [J. Blige], and Prince. They focus on the art and it pays off. They, along with people who grind 9 to 5 every day to make life better for the family, are the living embodiment of [Martin Luther] King's dream."
Ridiculous, maybe, but also beyond the realm of criticism, as blogging has become an inalienable human right. If Kweli believes King would have loved "My Humps," then so be it. Let's just hope he doesn't go equating Fergie with Susan B. Anthony, or some such.
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