Assholeparade at Churchill's Pub April 22
If Shakespeare got it right and brevity is indeed the soul of wit, Assholeparade's Student Ghetto Violence is some Poor Richard's Almanack-level shit.
Issued back in 2000, Student is the closest thing the Gainesville five-piece has to a definitive release, cobbling together pieces from singles, tapes, and other ephemera. Of the collection's 45 tracks, more than half fall under the minute mark. The briefest item is "Wendels Squirrly," a four-second, high-pitched guitar riff accompanied by unintelligible shouting.
Still, Assholeparade doesn't need hefty runtimes to get the job done. The band's thrashy hardcore leans on movie dialogue samples, banged-out Neanderthalian riffs, and vocals that are sometimes comical, sometimes cutting, and always pissed-off. Student isn't the only evidence of this dilapidated, abbreviated approach; 2005's Say Goodbye crammed 14 songs into just more than 12 minutes.
Since taking shape in 1995, Assholeparade has mostly existed as a side project. And the outfit rarely strays too far from Florida, so it's big news that the band is about to embark on an inaugural tour of Japan. Recently, Punknews.org reported that Assholeparade is even working on a new LP, tracking 15 songs in the studio. Although, given the act's usual MO, that probably means the record will last three minutes.
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