One of the worst parts of being a celebrity is being constantly watched. See, a normal person at a normal party can get really wasted and almost no one will notice.
But when you're a celeb, there's no dancing with your head down. Or, there might be dancing with your head down, but thousands of people are going to watch you act like you're on the nod.
Example: Amy Winehouse was trashed on stage in Belgrade two nights ago and she has subsequently cancelled a bunch of tour dates. Of course, the 28-year-old singer is no stranger to hyper-public intoxication. But someone has to ask: Who the hell is letting her on stage in this condition?
See the cut for the video and an extremely detailed play-by-play of Amy Winehouse's major breakdown in Belgrade.
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0:03 Amy trots out with her arms extended like a bird trying to balance itself while the crowd roars.
0:08 She embraces the saxophonist who responds like, "WTF?"
0:19 To great applause, Amy starts to stumble around. This is going to be bad.
0:26 And she's on the ground! The drummer and sax player can't believe this shit.
0:34 Amy softly pushes a band mate while the crowd keeps cheering her on. Maybe they don't get it?
0:40 Some people start to chant her name, as though more applause will put her in working order. They are confusing Amy Winehouse with Tinkerbell.
0:50 After spending a really long time with her back to the audience, Amy successfully unfastens her shoe and lazily tosses it.
1:05 Winehouse sits down again.
1:23 She approaches the mic as though she might actually sing and the crowd goes nuts. You can hear one guy saying, "Come on, come on, come on," like he's watching a sports spectacular. Also, Amy wipes her nose in a highly suspicious fashion.
1:28 The first blurt of an entire song's worth of highly unintelligible vocals.
1:40 - 1:54 Amy spends this 14-second span druggily looking at her arms.
1:55 Amy does a little shimmy that the crowd eats up like peons clammering for scraps of dog food from the plate of a Queen gone mad.
2:04 Some more arm inspection. Is Amy Winehouse tripping balls?
2:39 Winehouse mashes her mouth on the mic.
2:50 At this point in the song, there's a spoken breakdown and it's the most painful part of the entire performance. Amy's voice sounds like her tongue's soaked in molasses. It's a fittingly brutal crescendo.
3:48 Winehouse hugs herself like she's wearing a straitjacket.
4:33 Video cuts off as Amy warbles the song's final note.