50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013

50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by George Martinez

"What the fuck does unicorn taste like?"

Stardust. Rainbows. Maybe black-market horse meat from Miami's C-9 basin.

There's really no way to know, though. Because this fabulous one-horned equine creature doesn't actually exist. Except when you're raving, raging, and tripping out at Ultra Music Festival.

Here are 50 WTF quotes from Ultra 2013.

See also:

-Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros

-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!

-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)

-The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

-Top Ten Twerking, Harlem Shake-ing Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF

-Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Girls

50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by George Martinez

50. "Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic! Epic!" - A gang of raver friends, describing that "Epic!" moment when one enters Ultra Music Festival

49. "My mom said she doesn't want me to 'lose my innoncence' here. And I think she means 'raped.'" - Giggling teenaged girl

48. "Don't worry, you'll be safe." - Rape-y 20-something bro to giggling teenaged girl

47. "The thing is, I took acid and bought Molly" - Raver chick in a drug dilemma

46. "Nigga, I got any kind of shit anybody want. Like X or coke or prescriptions. And if you want rat poison, I'll go get it." - Eighth Street drug dealer, explaining how supply-and-demand affects his inventory

45. "Rat! Uhhhh! Gross!" - Chonga party chick, screaming about a rodent in a trash can outside Ultra's gates

44. "I tried to put a hot dog in my mouth. But it fell out the bun." - Sad, starving drunk guy

43. "Put your fucking pants back on." - Sober GF to rolling BF

42. "I can't find my pants." - Rolling BF

41. "Rage classy, Miami. Rage classy." - Miami raver bro on the Metrorail


50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by Victor Gonzalez

40. "Are you taking any drugs this weekend?" - Crossfade reporter

39. "No, just some ecstasy and a little smoke." - 70-year-old raver

38. "So... are MDMA and marijuana real drugs?" - Crossfade reporter to Miami cop at Ultra

37. "Yes. And don't take a photo of me!" - Miami cop at Ultra

36. "Can you take our picture?" - Uttered by 76 percent of ravers at Ultra Music Festival

35. "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." - One horny raver bro in a "Show Me Your Tits" T-shirt to another horny raver bro in a "Show Me Your Tits" T-shirt

34. "I love people!" - Excited Asian girl leaving a port-a-potty

33. "We did it! We figured out life!" - First-time roller, walking to his car

32. "I'm getting really tired of his shit." - First-time roller's friend, walking three steps behind

31. "Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ?" - Evangelicals peddling God on Biscayne Boulevard


50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by George Martinez

30. "Got Mollies?" - Drug dealer at Metromover station

29. "I'm high on life!" - The one sober kid at the Trapped stage

28. "This real trap shit." - Every DJ at the Trapped stage

27. "Let me see your fucking hands up!" - David Guetta, not armed-robbing ravers

26. "Ugh, that fucking whistle's so annoying." - Raver chick at the Carl Cox tent

25. "Where's Bayside?" - Bro at Bayside

24. "I'm from Italy. Can I have your press pass?" - Tourist outside of Ultra Music Festival

23. "Scream so motherfucking China can hear us" - Skrillex during Dog Blood's set

22. "I am not a narc." - Crossfade reporter to paranoid raver

21. "Then where's your neon, bro?" - Paranoid raver to Crossfade reporter


50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by Ian Witlen

20. "Dude, I just saw a chicken. And it wasn't fried." - Hungry stoner

19. "Yeah. They're all over Miami, man. For Santería and shit." - Hungry stoner's buddy

18. "Nah, dude. This chicken was human." - Hungry stoner

17. "Fuck this." - Bro waiting for ketchup at the French fry stand

16. "Fucking patriotic as hell!" - All-American raver guy during Slash's surprise appearance (Note: Slash was born in London and moved to the U.S. when he was 5.)

15. "It's just Slash." - Unimpressed Brazilian bro

14. "Rock 'n' roll is gay." - EDM purist

13. "I'm not homophobic!" - Obviously homophobic raver bro

12. "Don't worry about who you are. Gay, straight, whatever. It's about just being. Like the Tiësto song, 'Just Be.'" - Molly Casa

11. "I fucking love this girl! She's famous!" - Superhappy PLUR bro upon meeting Molly Casa


50 WTF Quotes From Ultra 2013
Photo by George Martinez

10. "I've never heard of Miami New Times." - USA Today reporter

9. "That girl looks so slutty, I just want to put my dick in her mouth." - Chicago bro, ogling main-stage hotties

8. "No, we're not going to kiss this tree. But we'll kiss each other." - Two girls, one tree

7. "I feel so positive! Yes! Yes! Yessssss!" - Touchy-feely bro without a shirt

5. "My friend just died. And I'm probably gonna kill myself." - Nerdy raver with tears in his eyes

4. "Just joking. He's over there." - Nerdy raver with tears in his eyes, pointing at his not-dead friend

3. "Peace! Love! Unity! Respect! That's what it means! Everybody love everybody!" - Kandi chick, preaching the power of PLUR

3. "Fuck you, I hope you die." - Frat boy to frat boy

2. "What do you people do when this ends and you're all so fucked up?" - Yeasayer lead singer to the PLUR-y masses

1. "Please tip. Need money for mollies." - Tip jar at Heineken bar by the live stage

-- Quotes collected by Victor Gonzalez, Kat Bein, and S. Pajot

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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