Wolfgang's Steakhouse

You know the evils of red meat and the havoc that cows wreak on the environment, but tonight is a special occasion. It's worth it, because it's Wolfgang's. Here's how it goes down: Take a seat in a dining room with more mahogany than a Southeast Asian jungle. Demand a table by the window. This is Miami, after all, and dining within eyeshot of a few palm trees and the glittering bay is your birthright. Begin with the sizzling Canadian bacon. A slab of the cured stuff is cut extrathick, so thick your cardiologist at her Pinecrest home miles away knocks over her Pellegrino because she senses it. If you must have a salad, make it the Wolfgang salad. It's loaded with shrimp and bacon batons cooked until crisp. Then comes the main dish: a porterhouse for two, of course. Even if you're a party of one, you'll want the porterhouse for two. It's all about the sizzling plate popping and sputtering with melted beef fat. It's the ruby-red slabs of meat, each encased in a rectangular shell of char that can be achieved only with the kitchen's 1,600-degree oven. Creamed spinach is a good accompaniment. The German-style potato, cooked with enough clarified butter to grease an airport runway, is better. Whatever dessert you choose, make sure it's topped with a tall mountain of rich whipped cream. That is how you steakhouse. Read our full review of Wolfgang's.