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It's a scorching late-October morning, and the sky is a pristine shade of chlorinated-pool blue. Todd, a shirtless man riding a rusty maroon Schwinn with a white basketful of...
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Julio's brown eyes open wide as he points to a dark cluster of banyan trees in Peacock Park. "I got a real evil feeling," the 22-year-old says, "when I was walking right over...
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Jesse Kennon squats silently at the edge of a three-seater airboat, his wavy, silver ponytail dangling as his thin-rimmed glasses slip down his sweaty pink nose. It's 10 p.m....
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"I know a girl everyone calls Firecrotch," drawls Alex, a blond, 21-year-old surfer chick wearing flip-flops and a loosely braided side ponytail. "And it's not because she's a...
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A Taurus can be a bull, a generic family sedan, or, if you have a speech impediment, a camera-toting traveler wearing a fanny pack.
But to us locals, Taurus (3540 Main Hwy.,...
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George's on Sunset (1549 Sunset Dr., South Miami; 305-284-9989) is kind of like a Buddhist temple. That is, if such a holy place were populated by club-hopping,...
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From the back, and a distance, Sarah, a tawny-skinned 25-year-old with green eyes and long, straight brown hair, looks like she's wearing a light-beige thong bikini. Get a...
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Bert, a bearded motivational speaker with a slightly overgrown crewcut, stands onstage in front of a doe-eyed crowd. He wears a black garbage bag over his head and instructs...
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Mary, a wrinkled 46-year-old in a straw hat and purple string bikini, sits on the second-floor balcony of Wet Willie's (760 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach; 305-532-5650). Below is a...
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"I wouldn't want my boyfriend chewing on that!" says Michelle, a fair-skinned 31-year-old blonde with an asymmetrical bob. She takes a sip from her bottle of Chimay and...
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Steve Irwin's heart was impaled by a sting ray. Princess Diana died while avoiding the paparazzi. Filmmaker Michael Findlay was decapitated by a helicopter blade. And...
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First, a special Loon Over Miami Mother's Day poem à la MIA:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
And sometimes, moms, you act slightly askew,
Causing us, your grown...
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Lucas is a ponytailed 34-year-old wearing a black T-shirt and a red bandanna around his head. He takes a long look at a jet-black inkblot that's skinny on top and fans out at...
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Some people jog first thing in the morning. Others fart. Some even shave their backs. But when a co-worker, a newbie at the time whom I'll affectionately call "Whizzle," said,...
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A well-toned blonde in a red feathered headdress, a thong, and nipple tassels looks down from high above a long, narrow club decked out in cushioned gold walls occasionally...
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It's a pristine pale-blue Saturday afternoon on the swank, manicured rooftop of the Conrad Miami (1395 Brickell Ave., Miami; 305-503-6500). And although it's a chilly 55...
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Karen, a 24-year-old, mocha-skinned beauty spiced up with cinnamon-colored stilettos and a Cindy Crawford mole, strokes the thin black straw floating in her clear cocktail....
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Come February 28, Bougainvillea's Old Florida Tavern (7221 SW 58th Ave., South Miami, 305- 669-8577) — a bar located inside a rust-colored cottage engulfed by gargantuan...
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Where can you find a modern-day Renaissance man? According to Nydia, a short, paunchy chick in an FIU sweatshirt and a gold checkered court jester hat with bells: in...
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Luz, a tiny 56-year-old Colombian woman with a twisted front tooth and a short, dark mop of spiral-shaped noodles stands in front of The Bar (172 Giralda Ave., Coral Gables;...
