We all know February 14 is Valentine's Day, but a little-known fact is that it's also National Condom Day.
In honor of love, safe sex, and expanding sexual taste buds, we present you with the top five crazy condom flavors. Keep your vanilla sex and vanilla condoms, because thing are about to get wild and tasty.
5. Licorice from Glyde
If you're looking for a politically correct condom, this is your best bet. It's vegan, organic, fair trade, and tastes like licorice. It's like the Tom's of condoms. If you're someone who stays away from black licorice in your jelly bean mix, it's probably best to go to another flavor. However, like the saying goes, once you go black (licorice), you never go back.
4. Scotch Whisky from McCondom
There are so many one-liners we can't resist: A whole new meaning to the term "whiskey dick." Everyone's favorite social lubricant. A different kind of Scottish hat souvenir. But seriously, this is a genius flavor. To spice up your sex life even more, wear this, and only this, under your kilt.
3. Chocolate Strawberry from One
Chocolate-dipped strawberries are an oldie but goodie for Valentine's Day lovers hoping to get their forbidden fruit dipped. This is the flavor of the holiday because it combines two sweet flavors. Is there anything more romantic? No wonder this condom brand is called One -- it knows all about merging.
2. Bacon from J&D's Food
As any carnivore will tell you, meat is better covered in bacon. It's moister and more flavorful. Now enjoy that same knowledge for carnal time. J&D stands for Jason and Dave, two friends who won money (thanks to Dave's 3-year-old son) on America's Funniest Home Videos and then used the cash to launch a bacon salt business. Making everything taste like bacon hasn't stopped there. They are currently sold out of bacon condoms, but you can put your name on a waiting list or buy their bacon lube to keep you sizzling until the condoms are back in stock.
1. Garlic from the Stinking Rose
Eating on Valentine's Day normally requires some dietary restrictions, such as avoiding anything too garlicky. But the California restaurant the Stinking Rose embraces the bulb in all its glory. This restaurant's owners are so garlic-obsessed they want to make love to it. They turned it into an original condom flavor. Just think of spaghetti-slurping from Lady and the Tramp, and keep the vampires away from that special place.
Follow Carina on Twitter @CarinaOst
Follow Short Order on Facebook, Twitter @Short_Order, and Instagram @ShortOrder.
