With Love, From Pee to Poo

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Nowak, in better times

As Valentine's Day approaches, we're all left to wonder: are we really, truly in love? Do we still get that warm, fuzzy feeling when we snuggle up close to our partner? Do we still take joy in the little things, like a shared laugh, or an afternoon picnic? Do the voices in our head urge us to gather a mallet, knife, bb gun, and rubber tubing in a duffel bag full of love letters and drive, in a diaper full of our own piss and shit, for 950 miles just to pepper spray a rival for our lover's heart?

Only cupid really knows. -Calvin Godfrey