On the cusp of his live performance at the Seminole Casino Hollywood tomorrow night, we were able to convince Gallagher to let us ask him some hard-hitting questions he would surely side-step. We wanted a phone interview so when we claim that homeboy just basically phoned in his responses we could mean it literally. But alas, our request was denied and we had to settle with the sort of interview people give each other in the Craigslist personals section: emails and cock shots. Still waiting on that frontal nudity, Gallagher.
Getting on with it, we asked Gallagher ten questions easily considered benign enough for him to not walk out on.
New Times: Being a prop comic, what do you do to distance yourself from hacks like Carrot Top and ventriloquists like Jeff Dunham?
Gallagher:
I'm no longer considered a prop comic (just in my Showtime Specials),
although I did give Scotty (Carrot Top) his start. Scotty used to travel
with my promoters when he was a kid and basically grew up backstage at
my shows. As for Jeff Dunham, he is not a hack. He is funny, I like him!
You
sued your own brother and won. That is awesome. How did it feel to have
a court verify that you're cooler than your brother, and how has that
affected your relationship?
I would rather not answer this question, if you don't mind!
Do
you ever catch people munching on the watermelon scraps that get thrown
at them? If yes, did you ever publicly belittle them during your act?
Of
course they have eaten the watermelon. Sometimes they steal it from the
stage before the show. Why would I belittle someone having a great time
at my show, I love that they get into it just as much as I do. I do
sometimes have to yell at them to leave some for the show though.
You
walked out on Marc Maron's podcast interview earlier this year. Do you
hold any ill will toward him and perhaps considered smashing him over
the head with a mallet? How about for charity?
Oh Marc Maron.
I didn't like him at all.... I think he was trying to belittle me to
get fans to like him! As I say though publicity good or bad is
publicity. I remember getting a whole bunch of emails saying Marc was a moron and then again saw some blogs saying that I was the moron. To each
their own.
I
would probably say "The Maddest". I have so much fun being a new dad.
Everyday would be a new joke especially seeing the world through my
daughter's eyes...
Do you have any crazy tour stories?
I
have many.....ones I cannot mention. I think that every tour has the
element to be crazy and unpredictable. You never know what is going to
happen around the corner. No matter what you do to prepare, you never
are.
If you could wipe any comedian off the face of the Earth, which one would it be, and why would it be Dane Cook?
Why would I want to wipe anyone off the face of the Earth? Diversity makes the world funny. I use this to inspire my show.
You like pointing out the absurdities of the English language. What's the dumbest thing about the English language?
Bomb, Tomb, Comb...all spelled the same - all sound different and different pronunciations. You tell me.
You've
made your dislike of President Obama public and a part of your act. Do
you have any plans of doing what Al Franken did and getting into
politics?
I tell you how it is. Truth is funnier than fiction...I don't have to make this shit up; just put a little spin on the truth...
People
sometimes don't like the truth and you get criticized. I make fun of
all types of people including myself. I'm not picking on any specific
person. I think people should take a look around them, there is a joke
around every corner...
Seriously, Dane Cook is terrible, right?
Well, I can see you don't like Dane Cook!
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
