Seven Adorable Animals Getting Totally Wasted, in Honor of Brew at the Zoo | Cultist | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
Navigation

Seven Adorable Animals Getting Totally Wasted, in Honor of Brew at the Zoo

You should never give alcohol to an animal. While most of us humans have figured out how not to kill ourselves by overindulging in the pleasures of booze, animals don't know when to say when. Some say it's because they have smaller brain capacities; others believe it's simply because they...
Share this:

You should never give alcohol to an animal. While most of us humans have figured out how not to kill ourselves by overindulging in the pleasures of booze, animals don't know when to say when. Some say it's because they have smaller brain capacities; others believe it's simply because they don't have to get up for work the next morning.

In fact, the only acceptable place for mixing animals and alcohol is at Brew at the Zoo, Miami's largest beer festival, bringing together over 100 local, international, and craft breweries to Zoo Miami on Saturday, May 4. Tickets are on sale now, and they're likely to go fast, especially if you want that VIP status that comes with unlimited entry, catered food, and access to a special, exclusive tasting section.

Still, sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes animals accidentally get into the hooch. Sometimes it's caught on video, and sometimes it's damned hilarious. Check out these videos of sloshed cats, dogs, giraffes, and squirrels. And please, make sure that you (and your furry friends) drink responsibly.

Drunken elephants, apes, giraffes, and more. It's like a zoo kegger.

Only a fool stands between a monkey and his rum.

"Dude, I got so wasted at Brew at the Zoo."

"How wasted were you?"

"I was squirrel-running-in-a-tiny-circle wasted, bro."

"Our Italian Greyhound got a hold of two martinis before we did," explain this poor guy's owner. Don't worry, little guy. I have trouble with stairs when I'm drunk too.

Whatever these cats are on, it's the good shit.

Expect to see plenty of human "happy dances" at Brew at the Zoo, too.

Here's why you don't just leave your Adderall laying around where your cats can snarf it up. This little kitty is on a serious Hunter S. Thompson mind trip.

Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

KEEP NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. Your membership allows us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls. You can support us by joining as a member for as little as $1.