Dirty Bowl

Two iconic college football programs tainted and shamed after their most scandalous off-seasons will face each other early in the season. Who will win when the University of Miami takes on Ohio State University? Who cares? Just point us to the afterparty, 'cause you know there'll be memorabilia for sale (courtesy of Buckeyes players) and hoochie mamas courtesy of the latest Nevin Shapiro trolling around the Canes. No, seriously. Opponents of the professional sports scam better known as the NCAA -- which argues that having players kill themselves to generate millions of dollars for their universities in exchange for scholarships is a fair deal -- are pointing at this game and laughing. Ohio State dumped its coach and had its roster gutted because players were selling their jerseys to get a lousy buck or two. What dastardly characters! And UM's players, many born in the inner city and showered with adoration since high school, took gifts and cash from the slimeball who then rolled over on the entire university -- after he got busted for a near-billion-dollar Ponzi scheme. Truth is, if you tempt any university faculty member with cash and strippers, chances are some of them will break. Why wouldn't an 18-year-old? As for the game itself, there won't be national championship implications as in years past, but these are two proud schools. Show up early -- we hear some players might make it rain before the game at Sun Life Stadium this Saturday.
Sat., Sept. 17, 7:30 p.m., 2011