Displacement, alienation, and the inevitable depression that arise from the state of being stateless are common afflictions among many new South Floridians. Two Cuban artists, Erman and Danny Ramirez, will explore their feelings of being strangers in a strange land in the show "Surviving Memories," opening tonight from 7:00 to 10:00 at Diaspora Vibe Gallery (3938 N. Miami Ave., second level). Erman -- a tailor, patternmaker, and fashion designer -- will set up a giant clothesline in the gallery featuring symbols of what he went through in his early life as a thirteen-year-old exile. Appropriately, he has dubbed the installation Los Trapos Sucios (Airing My Dirty Laundry). Ramirez will create an installation called Ezayah about a lost, confused young girl who yearns to be free. The show runs through Monday, July 26. Admission is free. Call 305-573-4046. (NK)
At the very beginning of comedian Dave Attell's Comedy Central show Insomniac, Attell is seen doing standup in the city where he's about to spend an entire night checking out what goes on after hours. Our favorite was the time Attell was riffing on midgets and an angry female midget hopped on the stage and attempted to attack him! That happened in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. One can only imagine what might ensue when Attell hits the stage of the Miami Improv (3390 Mary St., Coconut Grove), where he's currently in the midst of a series of gigs running through Sunday. Showtime is 8:30 p.m. Tickets cost $26.75 plus a two-drink minimum. Call 305-441-8200. (NK)
She thinks buffalos have wings, Scarface has scars on his face, and that Chicken of the Sea tuna really is chicken. You gotta love Jessica Simpson, mainly because she's been able to get paid big bucks by seemingly everyone for being a brainless bimbette. Never mind Seinfeld -- her Newlyweds reality show on MTV with husband Nick Lachey, formerly of boy band 98 Degrees, is truly the show about nothing. Let's watch Nick do away with a wasps' nest in their yard. Let's watch Jessica buy $1000 sheets and throw them in the washing machine. Let's watch the two of them argue over the cost of a housekeeper! Admit it, you can't look away. A couple of saving graces for Mrs. Lachey: She's very pretty in a Texas cheerleader sort of way, and compared with Britney Spears, whom she's often compared with, she has a half-decent voice. We just wish she could kick that habit of tapping her fingers (not always to the beat) on her microphone while she sings. Guess a girl's gotta keep time somehow! Simpson plugs her latest album, In This Skin, which includes her very annoying cover of Berlin's "Take My Breath Away," at 7:30 p.m. at the Sound Advice Amphitheatre, 601-7 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach. Tickets cost $21 for lawn seats and $36 and $46 for reserved seats. Call 561-793-0445. (NK)
Salty dogs, get psyched! You can buy a winch with your sea-wench at the Miami Marine Expo and Flea Market. The nautical gearfest promises low prices and large variety for boat lovers -- from spare parts to fishing gear and diving equipment. Now in its second year, the flea market and expo benefits the Marine Council, the local nonprofit organization that promotes boater safety, education, and seafaring rights in Miami-Dade County. So along with a killer cut-rate wetsuit, you can get an earful as to what's going on in the waters around you. If you need to ditch the kids for a few hours, drop them off at the event's kids' corner, then hit the bar for a mai tai. The expo opens at 10:00 a.m. at the Coconut Grove Expo Center, 2700 S. Bayshore Dr. Admission is five dollars. Call 305-801-1089. (JCR)
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What makes a gay icon the most? A six-pack? Good teeth? A million dollars and a starring role in a reality TV show? The handlers of Chip Arndt, who won along with his partner Reichen Lehmkuhl CBS's The Amazing Race 4, are working hard to stretch Arndt's fifteen minutes of fame. Maintaining his place front and center, Arndt is hosting Embrace!: A Benefit Concert for the Matthew Shepard Foundation. The fundraiser helps create educational outreach programs focusing on civil rights regardless of sex or sexuality. Along with Arndt will be a host of talent performing everything from musical theater to bluegrass to pop songs. The concert begins at 8:00 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 541 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $35 and $50. Call 305-538-6782. (JCR)
A master guitarist such as Eric Clapton only improves his skill with maturity. Instead of the long feathery locks and scraggly beard that once were part of his image, Clapton in his, er, middle age increasingly resembles a talking head on a 24-hour news channel. But his musicianship cannot be denied. The British bluesman is currently touring in support of his latest release, Me and Mr. Johnson, Clapton's renderings of blues legend Robert Johnson. Of course he'll likely play bits of his classic rock standards from his bands Cream and Blind Faith. The concert starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Office Depot Center, 2555 NW 137th Way, Sunrise. Tickets range from $47 to $87. Call 954-835-7825. (JCR)
If you've been hanging around town and seeing little groups of eight people shooting what looked like a music video, you're right on target. They might have been a team competing in the Entertainment Industry Incubator's MVC '04, or Music Video Challenge competition. The idea was for teams of eight to take 30 days and write, shoot, and edit a five-minute music video based on the theme "sugar" (don't ask!). Well, the videos have been made and now they're going to be screened for a panel of top music industry executives and judged. Major prizes include a music publishing contract and the chance to make a video for a Universal Latino artist. Before the screening and judging takes place, a short seminar on Internet downloading, distribution, and intellectual property will be given. (Stay away from that computer, you little music thief!) The MVC '04 Finals begin at 6:00 p.m. at the Where?House, 20204 NE Fifteenth Ct. Tickets cost $25. Call 305-672-9297. (NK)