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Sex On The Beach

If you get a Santa Claus-like twinkle in your eye every time you see the letters “XXX,” then the Exxxotica convention this weekend at the Miami Beach Convention Center just might be your dream come true. Porn goddesses Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick will be at arm’s reach, there’ll be more sex toys than you can test, and three words: Dildo Dunk Tank. But if you’re the “I buy it for the articles” or “I watch it for the story line” type, there’ll also be seminars gone wild on topics like “Swinging 101,” “Tying the Knot: Sensual Bondage,” and “How to Profit With Amateur Porn.” The pornographic exxxtravaganza begins today; hours are 4:00 to 11:00 p.m. Tickets cost $25 a day. Call 866-468-7630, or visit

And in an effort to cultivate the depth and delivery of your freaky thoughts, the Chris Imperial-hosted Durty Werdz event is back for a special Exxxotica Miami edition. This erotic open mike night aims to stimulate you with verses from some well-known artists like Shawn Elliot, Deidre Bluez, Raven, and Blondie Can’t U C. It goes down at the Boom Boom Room, 423 16th St., Miami Beach. Doors open at 11:00 p.m. Call 754-214-6024 or visit
March 30-April 1


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