Carmen Sandiego taught us that being Dutch was all about wooden clogs and boatloads of tulips. And because she was such a stunner in that red trench coat and fedora, we bought it. Little did we know that the Dutch are quite possibly the most bad-ass people on the planet. They have their own language. They can smoke weed without getting hassled about it (well, generally). And they practically invented the red-light district. All this time, we’ve been partying on Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick’s Day, when the culture that really deserves celebration went unfeted. But no longer. Friday’s Go Dutch Orange Bike-In at Grand Central Park (N. Miami Avenue and NW Seventh St., Miami) promises to put you “in touch with your inner Dutch.” Taking place on Dutch national holiday Queen’s Day, the event is unofficially linked with the Critical Mass bike ride. Grab a T-shirt from a Grolsch beer representative at the start of the ride, and you’ll be eligible for $3 beers at the Orange afterparty. But you’ll want to take that shirt off if you’re going to compete in the orange costume contest, which we assume means dressing in traditionally Dutch fashion rather than wearing lots of citrusy colors. Maybe you should do both, just in case.
Fri., April 27, 6 p.m., 2012
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