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Pyramid Schemes

Beneath that perfect smile, flat tummy, shapely hips, and dancer's thighs beats the heart of an ass-shaking warrior. And by the time you see the final performance of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleader Auditions at Aventura Mall this Sunday, more than 200 young ladies will have already been eliminated. For the ninth year in a row, the 90 remaining contestants (out of a pool of 300) will battle for 40 spots on the 2011 Dolphins cheerleading squad. Last year, the competition was so vicious that all the girls stripped to their panties and got into a massive tickle fight. We mean orgy. We mean naked, bouncing, shaking... Wait, sorry, cheerleaders just do something to us. Seriously, it's all good, clean fun when the ladies sing and dance their way into the celebrity judges' hearts. The competition takes place in the mall's center court and is free and open to the public.
Sat., May 7, 10 a.m., 2011


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