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Preseason Tuna Helper

Miami Dolphins fans have been waiting long to get the taste of an awful one-win 2007 season out of their mouths. And now that football guru Bill Parcells is in charge of things, the cock-punching has commenced. And that’s a good thing. Parcells comes into town with a rep for turning crappy teams into great ones. The Tuna has already gutted the team of some its more popular, albeit older, talents, such as releasing fan favorites Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor. But Parcells cares not for your sentimental hangups. He’s filling the roster with his kind of players — big, strong, and fast. It’s simply not a Bill Parcells team unless there’s a good possibility his players can dislodge the opponents’ intestines.

On Saturday night, fans get their very first glimpse of this revamped team (well, at least for the first 12 minutes of the game; it is preseason) as the Fins host the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Dolphin Stadium. Football is back! And although the team sucks, it still beats baseball! Right? Kickoff is at 7:30 p.m. Visit www.miamidolphins.com for tickets.
Sat., Aug. 9, 7:30 p.m., 2008

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