Sue the city. Yes, that's exactly what you should do if you already were a preadolescent or a teenager when the City of Miami Beach began work on the North Shore Park & Youth Center 10 long years ago. Bureaucrats and their harebrained scheme, er, "vision," prevented you from having decent places where you could hone your tennis serve, practice your jumpshot, or perfect your volleyball spike. That means it's clearly the city's fault you weren't able to grow up and become a famous professional athlete! They've denied you the chance to rake in the big bucks. Of course, you need some bucks to hire a lawyer and your lifeguard salary just ain't gonna cut it. (We're happy to see you at least got some swim time in at the beach.) Maybe instead of pursuing litigation, you'd settle for a new-and-improved park and youth center, which threw open its doors about 10 days ago. Yep, the 17.22-acre facility features all those things you wished for when you were a kid: 12 tennis courts, baseball/softball fields, a parquet-floor gym with a basketball court -- and electronic scoreboard! And those are just a few of the amenities. Check it all out at 501 72nd St., Miami Beach. Admission varies. Call 305-861-3616. -- By Nina Korman
Penelas's sweaty destiny
Okay, Mayorsito Alex, we know you want to be a U.S. senator and all. But now that your political career is on the skids after Al Gore used words like "treacherous" and "dishonest" to describe you, you have to think about your future. Let today's grand finale of your year-long Mayor's Fitness Challenge be the beginning of what you are truly meant to be: a personal trainer. You've hit a nerve battling obesity this year with your healthy eating and exercise advocacy program. You go, boy! Now commence to sweating. The fun begins at 10:00 a.m. at Tropical Park (7900 Bird Rd.). Squeeze into a thong -- just like the mayor! Admission is free. Call 305-375-3333. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez
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