Before schlepping to your parents' house for turkey, talking, and the Detroit Lions/Atlanta Falcons and Dallas Cowboys/Denver Broncos games, you should roll a fatty to adjust your attitude and head to the 31st annual WinterNational Thanksgiving Day Parade. Strutting to the theme "Celebrate Music The Universal Language," this holiday tradition is chock full of marching bands, psychedelic floats, and local dance and performance groups. Following the parade, you can take a spin on one of the carnival rides at the WinterNational Festival, which runs throughout the long weekend. The parade begins at 10:00 a.m. and wends through downtown North Miami along NE 125th Street from NE 4th Court to 12th Avenue. Admission is free for both events. Call 305-893-6511, or visit www.northmiamifl.gov. (LO)
Miami isn't much of a surf mecca. We've got the sun, sand, and chicks in bikinis, but, dude, where are the waves? DJ Lance-O is hoping Neptune will bless local shores for his second annual Jah Surf Dirty South Surf Contest. Even if you wipe out, you'll score an awesome grab bag of surfer goodies. Meet near the First Street jetty on Miami Beach. Amateur registration costs $50. Call the Jah Surf report at 786-276-6527. Don't feel like getting wet? Come to the free afterparty at Sofi Lounge (423 Washington Ave., Miami Beach), where Lance-O will provide cool reggae vibes at 8:00 p.m. Call 305-534-6110, or visit www.jahsurf.com. (PEGY)
Who better to ask about the state of Gay America than some of the most famous out-and-proud folks in America? Thanks to the New York Times speaker series TimesTalks, locals can learn from the likes of former child-star-turned-television-producer Chad Allen, hot baseball player and author Billy Bean, and Carson Kressley, arguably the most fab of the five on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. This informative event proves that White Party Week is about more than dancing all night. Be enlightened today at 4:30 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 565 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach. Tickets cost ten dollars. Call 305-576-1234, or visit www.whiteparty.org. (PEGY)
The honeymoon had to end eventually, right? Sure, the Miami Hurricanes enjoyed a good run, building a number three-ranked team (before losing to Georgia Tech) of well-behaved college boys. That is until a certain rap song emerged on the Internet (http://media.putfile.com/7th-Floor-Crew). Oh, the horror! Reportedly recorded two years ago, the 7th Floor Crew "sings" a lovely nine-minute tune bragging about their large dicks (of course) and gang-banging. You know, the kind of stuff that'll make their mamas weep. But the game must go on. Today the mighty Canes face the University of Virginia Cavaliers in the last regular-season matchup. Don't have a ticket? For a mere $45, Titanic Brewery (5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Coral Gables) will hook you up with beer, a buffet, and a bus ride to your lower reserved seats at the game. Kickoff is at 3:30 p.m. Call 305-667-2537 with your credit card to reserve a spot, or visit www.titanicbrewery.com for details. (LO)
Now that you have only 28 days to complete your holiday shopping, the malls are going to be jam-packed with bustling shoppers, animatronic snowmen, and angelic choirs singing head-pounding carols about silver bells, sleigh bells, and jingle bells. If you're less than gung ho-ho-ho about the same old department store gifts, spend your dollars on some unique old stuff at the New Coconut Grove Antiques, Collectibles, and Jewelry Show at the Coconut Grove Expo Center (2700 S. Bayshore Dr.). More than 100 dealers will be ready to haggle over the prices of vintage clothes, designer handbags, Depression glass, antique watches, fine china, silver, porcelain dolls, books, and more. Show hours are 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Saturday, and noon to 5:00 p.m. today. Admission is five dollars, free for children under twelve. Proceeds from the show benefit the nonprofit Theodore and Thelma Gibson Charter School. Call 786-263-3660, or visit www.coconutgroveantiqueshows.org. (LO)
Jazid is an anomaly on glitzy South Beach. For nine years the intimate lounge has showcased live music rather than wholly embracing the DJ-as-musician culture. Tonight's performance will be a treat for your eyes and ears. Feneiva is a band led by popular model and nice guy Fabian Hernandez. "Fabian is very good-looking. He's done a bunch of Benetton ads, and he's also an actor. Feneiva plays funk rock with Latin soul. They're a good band, and their following is growing," explains club owner Michelle McKinnon. Start grooving at 9:00 at Jazid, 1342 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Admission is free. Call 305-673-9372, or visit www.jazid.net. (PEGY)
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Technically he got there first, a full 45 minutes before his traveling companion. But African-American explorer Matthew Henson quietly stood in the shadows while Robert E. Peary was credited for being the first person to reach the North Pole. But if it weren't for Henson's hunting and sled-driving skills and his command of the language that even impressed the local Inuits, Peary probably wouldn't have been successful. Tonight the Museum of Contemporary Art (770 NE 125th St., North Miami) presents the U.S. museum premiere of British filmmaker Isaac Julien's audiovisual film installation True North the first in his trilogy of historical expeditions which retraces Henson's icy steps through the Arctic region. Along with a photography series, the film will be projected on three large screens, creating a truly chilling atmosphere. You can explore northern climes from 7:00 to 9:00. Admission is $25, free for MoCA members, North Miami residents, and Art Basel VIPs. The installation is on view through February 5. Call 305-893-6211, or visit www.mocanomi.org. (LO)
Paul Starr, Este Lauder's national makeup artist program director, makes celebrities look gorgeous. Lindsay Lohan, Salma Hayek, and Nicole Richie are just a few of the famous faces he's recently transformed for high-profile photo shoots. Starr's advice for the party season: "Everyone does a beautiful red lip during the holiday, but I'm suggesting that women do something different, like a rich, chocolate brown lip, or a smoky eye with a nude lip. Try something new and fresh." His book, Paul Starr on Beauty, is loaded with tricks. Starr and his handpicked team of artists can make you look like a star today between 11:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. at Saks Fifth Avenue, Bal Harbour, 9700 Collins Ave. Call 305-865-1100 for an appointment. Learn more at www.paulstarrmakeup.com. (PEGY)