Whew! The comedic play Making Porn gives us not just one naked man but three -- and one of them is hunky gay porn star Ryan Idol! If that's not enough to bring in the big audiences, there's the script, which provides plenty of laughs; and the acting, which ain't half bad either. The plot deals with a straight actor (Idol) who can't get a job except for bit parts in gay porno movies. He keeps that information from his wife, who thinks he's bringing home the bacon by starring in educational videos. Then he decides to tell her the truth and surprisingly she takes the news well -- too well! Clothed and unclothed, Idol is fine, but another Ryan (Ryan Robson) as Ricky the wannabe porn actor/ law student, steals the show. The play runs through Sunday at the Colony Theater, 1040 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach. Showtimes are 8:00 tonight, 7:00 and 10:00 p.m. tomorrow and Saturday, and 7:00 p.m. Sunday. Tickets cost $25. Call 305-674-1026. (NK)
From child prodigy to adult mystic, Tori Amos has always had the spirits with her and her piano (except for that first Y Kant Tori Read album), and now you can, too, when Amos arrives at the Sunrise Musical Theatre (5555 95th Ave., Sunrise) for shows tonight and tomorrow at 8:00 p.m. Whether she's singing about Jesus, Lucifer, Hawaiian gods, or rape, Amos always has a special way of expressing her feelings. Her fans are about as devoted as they get: They've created so many Websites that there's even a site devoted to reviewing all the others. Review her in person as she supports her latest release, From the Choirgirl Hotel. The first show is sold out, but there are still $28.50 tickets available for tomorrow's show. Call 954-741-7300. (LB)
For those with a penchant for pyramids and an endless affinity for all things Egyptian, there is the Egyptology Society, which meets on the third Friday of every month at the Miami Museum of Science and Space Transit Planetarium (3280 S. Miami Ave.). This evening the society features a special presentation with guest Ahmed Fayed, a fifth-generation Egyptologist who was born 200 yards from the Sphinx and still lives in front of it. Since Napoleon's time his family has been overseeing excavations at the Giza Plateau and Sakkara. Fayed graduated from Cairo University with a degree in archaeology and entered the family business. For many years he taught Arabic, archaeology, and ancient history; he also led tours around Egypt. These days he spends his summers lecturing throughout the world. At 7:00 tonight in the museum's main auditorium, Fayed will deliver a slide lecture titled "Egypt, Atlantis, and the Search for the Hall of Records," addressing the theory that lost ancient records may soon be revealed near the Giza Plateau. Admission is ten dollars. Call 305-865-1206. (NK)
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Who says the major acts never make their way down here? Not us. Okay, sometimes we do. But never again, we promise. Get a load of this one: Hall and Oates is heading south to perform at Miami's hip new venue, Miccosukee Indian Gaming (500 SW 177th Ave.) Yes, you heard right. Eighties icons Hall and Oates, the tall blond-haired guy and the short dark-haired guy with the mustache (oops, he shaved that off awhile ago). The creators of soulful yet jaunty hits such as "Out of Touch," "Private Eyes," "Kiss on My List," and "Maneater." The duo that once sold millions of records and performed at arenas during their heyday. Not their sons. Them. They'll grace South Florida with their middle-aged presence at 7:00 tonight. Tickets range from $20-$25. Call 800-741-4600. (NK)
A series of large vivid color photos of Beanie Baby stuffed animals posed in rather compromising positions. A giant Formica cube topped with AstroTurf and littered with little plastic toy people. A dark carpeted room that disorients you with its throbbing music and seemingly unstable floor. Sound intriguing? Then visit ArtCenter/South Florida (1035 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach) and check out the 2 X 2 exhibition featuring work by young Miami artists William Cordova, John Espinosa, Nina Ferre, Robert Flynn, Luis Gispert, Rachel Kaiser, Josh Levine, Emilio Perez, Ralph Provisero, and Annie Wharton. Admission is free. Call 305-674-8278. (NK)
Several thousand record industry executives descend on Miami Beach today for the second MIDEM Latin America and Caribbean Music Market, headquartered at the Miami Beach Convention Center (1901 Convention Center Dr.; 305-673-7311). But wait, don't leave town. Along with all the glad-handing and deal-making comes a schedule of showcases destined to rock your world, shake your groove thang, wrench your heart, and change your notions about Latin music forever. Tonight at 10:00 our favorite Latin liberal and one-time Panamanian presidential candidate Ruben Blades, who in the past has been dissuaded from coming to town by protesting Cuban exiles, pops up at the Cameo Theatre (1445 Washington Ave.; 305-532-0922). Colombian group Bloque's "psychotropical funk," a mix of squealing rock riffs, pounding Latin dance rhythms, Afro percussion, chanting, ska, highlife guitars, and poetic lyrics plays like the soundtrack for a state of emergency. Bloque is on the bill at 10:00 p.m. at Warsaw Ballroom (1450 Collins Ave.; 305-531-4555) with funky Venezuelan lounge lizards Los Amigos Invisibles and King Chango -- highly recommended. Also tonight: Central American rockers Garifuna Legacy at Club 737 at Thunder on the Beach (737 Washington Ave.; 305-534-4469), salsero Willie Colon at Cristal (1045 Fifth St.; 305-604-2582), 2 Live Crew at Salvation (1771 West Ave.; 305-673-6508), and others. Tomorrow night Mexican hip-hop revolutionaries Plastilina Mosh break to the beat at the Cameo with velvety Latin rock band Aterciopelados and more. Boukman Eksperyans plays its spirited Haitian blues at Cristal, joined by Third World, South African reggae star Lucky Dube, and others. For a more familiar South Beach sound (thump, thump, thump), head to Salvation for the "Beats, Breaks, and Beyond" dance event, where DJs rule. Call venues for times and ticket prices (see "MIDEM Events," page 94, for other listings.) (JC)
What were the marketing geniuses thinking when they paired the Dave Matthews Band with jazz keyboardist Herbie Hancock and the Headhunters as his opening act? The Dave Matthews Band has been around and had a few hits, such as their latest, "Crash." But Hancock has really been around. He may be most widely known for his funky, hip-hop-inspired 1983 tune "Rockit," but way before that he was a jazz guy -- a legendary jazz guy. In the Sixties Hancock played with Miles Davis in some of that genius's finest ensembles. On his own in the Seventies, he formed the Headhunters, an innovative band that merged jazz with electrofunk. The Headhunters broke up in the Eighties but have now re-formed and released an album. Maybe if it does well some savvy record-company exec will let them headline their own tour someday? Or maybe they'll just put together another completely mismatched bill. How about Wynton Marsalis opening for Hootie and the Blowfish? Showtime is 7:30 p.m. at the Coral Sky Amphitheatre, 601 Sansbury's Way, West Palm Beach. Tickets cost $27.75. Call 561-793-0445. (