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Eep Opp Orp Uh-Oh

Some ten years ago, Captured! By Robots lead singer and “puny human” JBOT made the unspeakably foolish decision to create two robots, DRMBOT0110 and GTRBOT666, to replace his former human bandmates. Inevitably they enslaved him. Now Captured! By Robots is on tour to celebrate (or in JBOT’s case, lament) ten solid years of robot supremacy, biocerebral chips, and head-splitting metal about Thighmasters and The Ten Commandments. The bots arrive in Miami tonight along with another JBOT creation, the fuzzy, love-preaching Ape Which Hath No Name, and of course The Son Of The Ape Which Hath No Name, who kindly requests that you bring him banana ice cream. Special guests Teddy Bear Orchestra and The Terri Schiavo Hyper-Crystal Suicide Cult will also perform. Everything in this article is, incredibly, a true and accurate representation of what is going on tonight at Churchill’s. Come by at nine and expect to have your primitive organic brain circuitry totally fried. The show costs eight dollars, and, quite possibly, your freedom from eternal mechanical domination.
Thu., April 26


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