Beneath the layers of makeup and industrial-strength anti-aging remedies, Cher is a pickled old hag. Yet for some reason, middle-age gym queens jump and yip like chihuahuas whenever the old broad is brought up in conversation. Perhaps it's a Pavlovian reaction reinforced by prime-time TV. Or maybe Cher-mania is fueled by some messed-up Oedipal mojo that confuses mama love with pussy envy. Who knows? Well, Cher is back, pushing her so-called "Farewell Concert" upon legions of brainwashed fans. These are the same people who passionately debated American Idol's Ruben vs. Clay showdown. Unfortunately Cher will never leave. Paranormal investigators have found that the diva began cloning herself in the 1970s. Now thousands of the Cher clones are mature and taking over the planet. Cher clone #143 performs at 7:30 p.m. at the Office Depot Center, 2555 NW 137th Way, Sunrise. Tickets range from $39.75 to $79.75. Call 954-835-7825. -- By Juan Carlos Rodriguez
Respect for Rasta
If Bob Marley was the prophet, then Peter Tosh was the martyr. Fearlessly outspoken and sharply critical, Tosh was never as lovable as the iconic Marley, his bandmate in the Wailers through the 1960s and early '70s. But the uncompromising Tosh was also one of reggae's greatest musicians, with his classic album Legalize It and its anthemic title track, and the album Equal Rights with the hit "Get Up, Stand Up." Appropriate, then, that Tosh should have an entire week of events devoted to his memory and work, culminating in the Peter Tosh Tribute Concert at Bayfront Park in downtown Miami, with such performers as Lucky Dube, Edi Fitzroy, Andrew Tosh, Everton Blender, Half Pint, Malachi, and Tony Rebel. The concert begins at 4:00 p.m. with tickets $25 in advance, $30 day of show. Call 305-891-2944. -- By John Anderson
Too bad that some people associate the word "soprano" strictly with a TV show about an evil, dysfunctional brood. They're clueless that sopranos can also be opera singers with angelic voices. Marvis Martin is a local soprano made good. Appearing in the world's premier opera houses and alongside the finest symphony orchestras, the Miami native has become internationally known. At 8:00 tonight she returns to her hometown for a concert benefiting InsideOut at Christ the King Lutheran Church (11295 SW 57th Ave.). Expect arias, show tunes, and spirituals. Tickets cost $10 and $50 (includes a reception). Call 305-235-9298. -- By Nina Korman
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