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Breaking Bad Bobcats

The Charlotte Bobcats are a really bad basketball team. They own the worst record in the NBA by five games, after setting the record for lowest win percentage in the history of the NBA last season. Owner Michael Jordan’s world-famous competitiveness translated to NBA ownership as badly as Magic Johnson’s ability to host a late-night TV show. Unfortunately, Jordan can’t be canceled for bad ratings. But while beating up a team that’s on a ten-game losing streak should be an easy win for the Miami Heat, the teams’ previous meetings say otherwise. Of this season’s three Bobcats vs. Heat games, two were decided by six points or fewer. Then again, as of presstime, the Heat has won 20 games in a row, and All-Universe Superstar player LeBron James has torn up the NBA hardwood like a pack of Hells Angels rolling into a sleepy Midwestern town. Plus, after a slow start, Dwyane Wade is donning a superstar cape yet again. Sorry, Michael, but it looks like you’ll be leaving in the first quarter again.
Sun., March 24, 6 p.m., 2013


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