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Bragging Rights

The Miami Dolphins were the greatest football team of the early ’70s, particularly 1972, when the Don Shula-led Phins became the first — and only — team to go undefeated during the regular season and win the Super Bowl. Ha! Take that, 2007-08 New England Patriots. Wait, what’s that? Karma’s a bitch? This just in: The 2012 Patriots recently beat the Phins at Sun Life Stadium to clinch the AFC East. At press time, the Dolphins remained dead last. “I’m not surprised as I’m looking at what [the Patriots have] done the last five weeks,” Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin told reporters after that game. “We’re just looking to improve and play better.” Not a bad plan, considering it’s been four decades since Miami’s beloved NFL team won a championship. It seems like the only thing the Dolphins have done remarkably well lately is, well, suck. On the bright side, however, the Dolphins don’t suck nearly as bad as state rivals the Jacksonville Jaguars. At press time, the Jags had an embarrassingly low 2-10 record, enough to secure the lowest spot in the AFC South standings. By comparison, the Dolphins were 5-7 at press time.
Sun., Dec. 16, 1 p.m., 2012


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