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Blues Versus Sacre Bleu

What is Montreal’s impact? Mostly banana-hammock bathing suits, “Je me souviens” license plates clogging the fast lanes in February, and the band Of Montreal, whom no one over 26 has ever listened to. Also, a smaller version of the bagel and some of the best strip clubs in the world (or so we’ve heard).

In other words, Montreal’s impact has been negligible, and that’s why we’re not worried about Miami FC Blues’ match this Saturday against the Montreal Impact. If history persists, the game will be decided in the first minute, when a cleverly placed separatist makes the call for Quebecois nationhood and the whole team runs off the FIU Stadium field to join the protest. Is there a mercy rule in the United Soccer League First Division? We’ll find out at 8 p.m. Tickets to the Canadian massacre cost $12 for adults, $7 for kids under 12 or students with valid ID.
Sat., Aug. 1, 8 p.m., 2009


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