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Bitchin' Rock Star from Mars

Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo of Truth stops at the BankAtlantic Center (1 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise) this Friday at 8 p.m. And because this is the Sheen monster’s megalomaniacal meltdown, we expect some surprises. So here are five ways his #winning could go down: (1) The goddesses will reveal they also have tiger blood. The former Two and a Half Men star claims he has tiger blood running through his veins. But is he the only one? What if Capri Anderson, the porn star who locked herself in the bathroom after Sheen flipped out at the Plaza Hotel, also has tiger blood? Would she have blinked and cured Sheen’s rage with her mind? (2) Sheen will teach us how to be a real #winner. As part of the tour, he’s offering limited meet-and-greet packages, but as he specifies, they’re “for winners only.” Hey, Sheen, will you teach us how to be winners? If it has anything to with restraining orders and losing our well-paid day jobs, we want in. (3) He’ll tell us how to live like a warlock. Will he give us an actual class, Harry Potter-style? Yikes, we hope he doesn’t see us for what we really are — trolls. (4) He’ll add another goddess to his harem. Wear your skimpiest outfits, ladies, because who doesn’t want to be an unemployed addict’s bitch?
Sat., April 23, 8 p.m., 2011


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