Balls Away

Lascivious cousin of Italian bocce, petanque prefers to stand in the shadows, twirling its mustache, sipping absinthe, and plotting the demise of its crass American archrival, horseshoes. “Horse-shu,” it says, “your date wiz total obscurity eez coming. I have waited in zee shadows long enough. Now I will strike every Tuesday night between 6 and 8 p.m. at zee Biltmore Hotel, seducing your citizens wiz mah sexy boules. I am even hosting mah free weekly Petanque Tournament at zee appropriately named Boules Bar, so while zay sip down mah delicious, half-priced cocktails, I will slide into zheir hearts like zee dolphin. Zee dolphin eez a popular animal in Miami, no? Zee metaphor works? Ah, eez too sophisticated for you? Eez OK. I will be in zee shadows until you are ready to call
Tue., April 28, 6 p.m., 2009

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