Professor Irving Miller of the American Institute of Enterprising Ideas recently released his groundbreaking thesis titled "5 Key Elements of the Successful Neighborhood Restaurant." When we caught up with the feisty 73-year-old professor at his favorite eatery, the Federal, we asked why he likes this place so much. His response: "It has all five elements necessary, starting with hospitality. Two of the owners are up front greeting customers and making them feel at home; the other is in the kitchen cooking food that makes them feel at home. Very important. Number two is the ambiance — here it's rustic, relaxed, and comfortable. Three: Are you writing this down?"

Yes."Good. Three is the selection of drinks, and the Federal flaunts half a dozen pints of craft draught beers and some hundred bottles of wine solely from family estate producers. And, finally, the food: Jar-o-duck with candied sweet potato and charred marshmallow fluff, Buffalo-style pig wings, and so forth — honest, tasty, accessible, and highly creative." That's only four."Really? Friendly staff, informal environment, great food, drink... Oh, yes, service. Very good service. And free parking in the strip mall lot out front. Crucial for a neighborhood restaurant. Plus the pricing is affordable: smaller plates $6 to $16, larger ones $16 to $36." That's seven."Well, that just goes to show how much the Federal has going for it."