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Best Political Miscalculation Miami 2011 - Rick Scott's denial of federal funds for high-speed rail

Call it "Obamarail" all you want, you freaky-looking doppelganger to the creepy preacher from Poltergeist. The plan to build a high-speed rail system through Florida was championed by Gov. Charlie Crist, your Republican predecessor in office. And your rejection of $2.4 billion in federal funds to build the system — which would have created thousands of jobs — will bite you in your luminescent, bony ass. If there's one principle constant among state politicians of both red and blue ilk, it's this: Money from Washington is glorious. It is to be accepted with no argument. It is an oatmeal cookie from Mom. You would never tell her: "What's the calorie count in this cookie?" You would not inquire as to whether the cookie was gluten-free. You would take the fucking cookie and then figure out what to do with it. Florida has seen a lot of different kinds of morons in office, Rick Scott. But none dumb enough to turn down a giant cookie when the state is suffering from some seriously low blood sugar. That's why you were sued by Florida senators from both sides of the aisle. That's why your approval rating is doing its best impression of Emilio Bonifacio's batting average. And that, dear sir, is why you need to climb back into the fiery hole in Hades from which you emerged.
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coquito
coquito

Rick Scott's psycho eyes are even scarier than Joe Arriola's psycho eyes. I mean the kind of demon-scary eyes that give you nightmares.

Howard Camner
Howard Camner

People need to start listening. Rick Scott is an alien. I don't know what he was sent here to do but my guess is he's not here for anything good. If you look closely at his forehead you will notice two slight protrusions which are his antenna housings. I believe he covers them up with a flesh-colored dough-like substance (think Silly Putty). He has no pupils. Behind his ears are small gills. I am not making this up. Look for yourself. From my research I suspect that his spaceship is somewhere near the bend off the turnpike that becomes 75 heading for Naples. You will never see him eat out in public because he cannot tolerate human food. He takes lime-green energy pills which also supplies his flesh-like outer covering. Be afraid...be very afraid.

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