Four thousand miles. That's the distance between Miami and that thong-filled playground, Rio de Janeiro. Still, there's no need to stay home blasting bossa nova while crying into your salgadinhos. Join other Brazilians and Brazilophiles at Boteco, a Portuguese bar perched on NE 79th Street just west of the causeway. After drinking your weight in Itaipava beer and caipirinhas, and getting the munchies, you'll be glad to know this watering hole has some of Miami's most scrumptious bar food. The menu satisfies the three basic requirements of a boozer's palate: salty, fried, and meaty. Ease in with espetinhos ($2 to $3.50) — or meat skewers — because everything (including chicken hearts) tastes better torn off a stick. But Boteco's petiscos — or small plates — are the reasons our drunk, hungry asses keep coming back. Dig into traditional dishes such as bolinho de aipim com carne seca ($8), yuca croquettes filled with shredded meat; and camarão alho e óleo ($13), shrimp sautéed with oil, garlic, and parsley. If you're going to get wasted and eat everything in sight, this is the best place — after Rio — to binge under the influence.