You know, we didn't always have Snooki and various Kardashians shooting brain-cell-killing lasers out of their otherwise empty heads at us through the television box. A long time ago, people actually went to theaters and watched these things called films. You probably wouldn't know it by looking at the slate of filming permits filed in Miami-Dade this past year, but it's true. They were these weird things: 70 minutes to three hours, depending on how ballsy the director was feeling. Usually with plots — you know, a beginning, middle, and end. Characters learned things, changed as human beings. In the best ones, maybe the audience did too. I Love You Phillip Morris is one of those films. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor star in it (maybe your grandparents have heard of them). They play two gay lovers who meet in prison, and then some high jinks ensue in Miami. Wide release of the film has been held up in America because of that whole two-gay-lovers thing. Apparently, this country cannot handle the sight of Jim Carrey wearing a tacky Versace-like outfit while walking around South Beach with a seminaked male lover and then offering him a daiquiri poolside. If the film opens in more theaters, we highly recommend you take your eyes off Snooki's and Kim's buns and see it.