Go to the American Legion and order a goddamn drink. Yes, the American Legion. A little patriotism won't kill you, you fucking hipster. Sit your ass down and have a fucking beer. A fucking Bud Light. There's a fancy place around the corner if you want to be a pussy, OK? Take a swig of that shit and ask for Sean. He's a bartender and he's a real straight talker. He's fought in some wars. Just shut the fuck up and listen to him. The dude tells some good stories, you asshole. Also, watch the sports on the motherfucking TV set because that's what you do at a motherfucking vets' hall. Seriously, look it up. Man, sometimes I want to shoot you with my fucking hunting rifle.