Sometimes you need a little weirdness to help you get your head together. This is the weirdest afternoon you could possibly want.

At Miccosukee Resort & Gaming, you can pop into the bingo room to observe the odd goings-on of a bunch of neglected elderly people. About 1,200 of them. They've been there all night. You'll also find thousands of video gambling games and about five dozen poker tables.

Once you're either broke or rich, hop back into your car and jet to the Trail Glades Gun Range and vent your rage or celebrate with a bang. If you've got your guns with you, fire away; if not, they'll rent you some. Who knows? You might even meet someone friendly enough to let you shoot one of theirs.

After that, stop by the Pit Bar-B-Q. It's called "the Pit" because it used to be connected to a go-cart track — the only business in that part of town. It's not the best barbecue in the world, but they usually keep a pony outside. Plus they fry biscuits.

If you've had enough, then get your ass back to Miami. But if you like what you've seen so far, venture west along the Tamiami Trail to Loop Road. It's the weirdest and most beautiful place in the county. Peer into the culverts at all the creatures that survived the dinosaur holocaust. Talk to the locals. They're better than anyone you've ever met anywhere.