Best Attempt to Convert Nonbelievers - 2008
Bank of Heaven
You're lying in bed one early Sunday, head under the covers, when a group of chirpy Christians knocks on your door. After spotting them through the peephole, you cross your fingers and pray they shove off. Hell-bent on salvation, they keep banging away, eager to bring the pagan on the wrong side of the threshold into Jesus' fold. Before giving up, the anonymous evangelists slip a check from the "Bank of Heaven" under the door. It reads, "Pay to the order of everyone without The Lord Jesus Christ." The sum for those unwilling to bend their knees for the glory of redemption? "Eternal Death — Torment Forever in the Lake of Fire."