We're not sure who actually writes this blog, or where the author is from. But whoever it is — we think it's probably a he, given the macho, misogynistic rants and the fact that he signs each post as Michael Porfirio Mason, a.k.a. "The People's Champ" — visits South Beach often to wine, dine, and scheme while lounging with a couple Gs in the pocket of his Boateng suit. The author's main passions in life are making money via shady enterprises, sleeping with models, and dressing to kill. The blog, which has been online since September 2005, may be totally fake — but it's entertaining as hell, especially when Miami is the topic. Here's an example of his dubious prose, taken from the post "The South Beach War Report": "Regular everyday Guy has no chance in Miami. They are usually finished quicker than it takes an ice cube to melt on Lincoln Road in summertime. Regular Guy doesn't have the tools, the weapons, the experience, the heart, or the Game. Even capable players meet defeat in South Beach. You will see them outside of clubs trying in vain to gain entrance.... Even top players get dismantled in South Beach. I remember seeing a Top Tier Los Angeles playboy get completely dissected in South Beach two years ago ... he hasn't been back since and trust me, it wasn't pretty. I even know a first-rate Parisian playboy who was absolutely bulletproof in Paris and Southern France that was made to look like Swiss Cheese in Miami Beach. There is a certain skill set that you must have if you want success in Miami Beach...." So for all of you players and wannabe international playboys, this is your bible. Otherwise just check it out for a good laugh.