BEST TOPLESS BEACH - 2004
We searched long and hard for the best clothing-optional beach and came up empty. Well, maybe not empty, but without a winner. South Beach provided the hunting grounds. First it was off at Third and Ocean, where a bounty of bronzed Brazilians, in full splendor, were walking around wearing nothing but floss, just as they do in Rio and the rest of their nation. Around Fifteenth through Eighteenth streets we saw an unusual number of other tourists flashing flesh. After extensive, grinding, drooling -- er, grueling -- sifting through a sea of suitless tanners, we had to face the realization that, thanks to the wonderfully amoral nature of Miami's citizens, there are no longer any boundaries when it comes to drop-top bikinis. Block after block of beach features people wearing what they wore when they were born, although females exposing their breasts are the most common nudephiles. That's why this year we give this award to all the sunbathers who made South Beach the biggest, coolest wardrobe malfunction this side of the Super Bowl.