You're driving your kid across town to the big tournament when he suddenly realizes he's made a tragic mistake: He left his shin guards at home. Or you're on your way to a local pickup game and need a new ball; the last time you played was ten years ago and yours is dead as grandma's cat. Or you decide to invest in season tickets to Fusion games, but feel foolish because you don't have the necessary regalia. Or you just like to flip through the latest Umbros, inhale the hand-stitched Brine that cost more than your last dinner out, or try on the Diadoras that make you think you could show that ungrateful Carlos Valderrama a move or two. Whatever your reasons, practical or nostalgic, Soccer Locker won't fake you out. Just make sure to brush up on your lingo before you get there or the staff will shake-and-bake on your wallet.