Grab your plutonium, rev that engine to 88 mph, and hang on tight: It’s time for a journey to Miami's red-hot present. After all, Marty McFly traveled to 2015 in Back to the Future Part II. So consider nearly 350 of our picks for the best places to snag late-night eats, chug cheap beer, and peruse vintage clothes right now in the Magic City. Not even a mad genius like Doc Brown could invent a better choice for the best new bar, the coolest day trip, and the finest tattoo shop. To top it off, you’ll also find the results of our Readers' Poll, tallied from months of voting. Keep this issue in your DeLorean’s glove box for handy reference, or find all of our picks at miaminewtimes.com/bestof. Great Scott!

#BestOfMiami

Egyptian brothers make Miami's best bagels. Islam and Khaled Mohammed came to the United States from their Mediterranean homeland in 2001 and took up work in bakeries throughout New York and New Jersey. In 2012, they opened the exposed-brick-covered Toasted Bagelry & Deli on a clogged Brickell thoroughfare. But they came on strong. On Sundays, they churn out more than 4,000 of the chewy little rounds topped with everything from salty-savory whitefish salad to the comforting combination of lox, eggs, and onions ($6.99). Toasted does things the old way, using kosher malt, flour conditioner, and filtered water to produce pristine bagels. However, none of that matters if you can't get your hands on a hot one. So reconsider sleeping in on weekends.

Readers' choice: Bagel Emporium & Grille

Jimmy Stobs is a great golfer. The 45-year-old Miami native played professionally for ten years and once won the Florida Open. But it's quickly becoming clear that Stobs is an even better coach. After beginning his career at Miami Country Day, Stobs took over the Barry University men's team in 2002. That year, the Bucs struggled, finishing under .500, but since then, Stobs has wasted no time in turning Barry into a Division II powerhouse: In 2003-04, his second season at the school, the team went 130-38 and won its first-ever place in the national tournament. Stobs was named a regional coach of the year. Three years later, in 2007, the Bucs were national champions. They repeated as champs in 2013 and 2014, and this year the linksters on 113th Street are again contending for a national championship. Not that winning is everything, of course: Under Stobs, who also serves on the board of an adversity award, Barry's men's teams have also lent a hand to Habitat for Humanity and local reading programs.

Readers' choice: Erik Spoelstra

Sidebar is packed with contradictions. One of its owners used to work at Opium Group, the bottle-service-king of South Beach that manages clubs like Mansion and SET. Another used to be the manager at Bar, a dearly departed downtown hipster hole in the wall. Their former employers, in other words, represented diametrically different dimensions of Dade nightlife. At Sidebar, the cavernous inside — with black walls, a stage, and a large dance floor — is the perfect place to be drowned in sound and to dance the night away. The ample outdoor area, in contrast, provides a place to catch a break and some conversation. On Wednesday, Sidebar features live jazz, Fridays is for hip-hop, and Saturdays are open format. It's ladies' night on Thursday, when there are the standard free drinks at the beginning of the night for women — but also free ice cream for all. Sidebar can't even be easily geographically categorized. It sits at the juncture of Brickell and Little Havana. And yet all these elements come together perfectly. Sidebar isn't trying too hard to be one thing, but it's not trying too hard to please everyone either. It's just great.

Readers' choice: Ball & Chain

"Today I'm going to chill in an igloo" is a phrase you probably never anticipated saying in Miami, but thanks to the Carillon Hotel & Spa, you really should. During a sultry, humid South Florida summer, cooling your blood inside an ice sculpture reinforced with three arctic mist "experiences" (in menthol, mint, and eucalyptus scents) actually sounds like a damn good way to spend a day. To do that, you'll need some serious cash: $295 to be exact. That's how much a day pass costs for Carillon's 70,000-square-foot world of relaxation and rejuvenation. But considering all the outlandish benefits that come with that pass, it seems like a bargain. You get a 50-minute tailored massage from a therapist, more than 40 fitness classes to choose from, pool access, and use of all the regular spa facilities. Try a Caribbean Monsoon (a "rain experience") or stare at the starlit ceiling and let all your worries melt away in the herbal laconicum — a warm ceramic room infused with herbs and private seating niches. There's even mindful relaxation therapy to get your brain as chill as your muscles via a soothing massage on vibrating sound tables that retune brainwaves.

Readers' choice: The Standard Spa

Pérez Art Museum Miami
Photo by MannyofMiami.com
Bagel Cove Restaurant & Deli
Bagel Cove

Two words bring joy to the hearts of transplanted New Yorkers living in Miami: hand-rolled bagels. Bagel Cove has them, and though purists prattle about New York producing the only decent version (while citing the Big Apple's water quality as the basis of their argument), the fact is that these are damn good bagels that don't require hopping a plane. Served with "schmear" ($2.79), they're a breakfast staple. But go for the gusto and add some nova, tomato, and onion ($12.95) for the ultimate breakfast. There's also a slew of other breakfast items designed to make you homesick for Bubbe, like the nova, eggs, and onions together in a scramble ($9.29) and the matzo brei with onion ($8.95). Starting your day at Bagel Cove is like going home again — if home were Brooklyn.

Readers' choice: Buena Vista Deli

It's the afternoon of September 7, 2014, the Dolphins' opening game: at home, against perennial powerhouse and Fins nemesis the New England Patriots. Deep in the third quarter, the Patriots are up by a touchdown. Living legend Tom Brady takes the snap. He moves back laterally, scanning his head side to side for a receiver. Dolphins defensive end Cameron Wake targets Brady like a laser and flies full speed around the Patriots' linemen. Brady sees him coming, tries to dance away. Wake lunges hard at the quarterback and tackles his torso. Fumble. Dolphins recover. Dolphins score. Late in the fourth, Wake sacks Brady again. Another fumble. Victory sealed. Wake, a 33-year-old Maryland native, signed with the Dolphins in 2009 after struggling for years to find a spot on an NFL roster. In Miami his star finally rose, and last season Wake's defensive play was as bright as the fan favorite's megawatt smile: He earned AFC Defensive Player of the Week honors for his takedowns of Brady and went on to rack up a season-total 11.5 sacks and 31 tackles. That was more than enough to cement his place as one of the Dolphins' top performers — and to earn the onetime mortgage broker his fourth Pro Bowl nomination.

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Readers' choice: Ryan Tannehill

A short sampling of Miami's rankings in various national surveys last year: the seventh worst traffic in America, the fifth least affordable rentals, and the fourth worst place for recent college grads to move. Is it any wonder that last year, real-estate blog Movoto ranked Miami the third most stressed place in the nation? That's why you need a glorious, 50-minute massage, stat. And no one in Miami does it better than Lapis, the spa at the historic Fontainebleau resort. Soft music plays in the background while guests slip into a soft robe and rubber slippers. Before the rub begins, guests can take in the other considerable amenities, such as a swimming pool and a warm waterfall. Lapis offers various treatments, but perhaps the one that will give your muscles a workout is the "weekend warrior rehab," a combination of deep-tissue massage mixed with hot stones to "ease pain, tension, and improve mobility and range of motion." Those 50 minutes of heaven cost $165 — a hefty investment, but think of how Miami's national rankings could change if we all took a few minutes for a legit massage. America's number one Zen city, here we come.

Readers' choice: The Spa at Mandarin Oriental

Coyo Taco
aolivaphotography.com

Coyo Taco is a bright, fast-casual taco joint in Wynwood — with a dark secret. To find it, walk past the bathrooms and down the hall. There, you'll find a small, square room, softly lit by novena candles. A DJ plays a mix of soft house music, and people lounge on comfortable sofas. You've found Coyo Taco's hush-hush bar. The small space is home to 50 tequilas and mezcals, all of which can be mixed into the bar's inventive cocktails created by Coyo partner Anna Robbins. There's a banana margarita, called the Anna Bannana (the extra "N" refers to Robbins' childhood nickname), made with a rare Brazilian banana liqueur, and rimmed with sal de gusano, a Mexican salt made with ground gusano worms (the same ones getting drunk at the bottom of your Mezcal bottle). For health nuts falling off the wagon, there's a chia margarita. But with 100-degree heat fast approaching, go for the bar's Paleta­Ritas ($14). A locally made paleta is cut in half. One part is used in the margarita; the other half serves as both garnish and refreshingly icy swizzle stick. In flavors like cocopassion and chili cucumber, these PaletaRitas are the most refreshing and boozy treat in Miami. The fact that they're served in a secret bar filled with lit effigies of saints pushes the coolness factor off the charts.

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