"Reporter Nick Smooth here at the Sheen Center for Disturbed People, interviewing Ned Kolopsi as to why he was so enthralled with Crazy About You before landing at this facility. As most viewers know, the restaurant is a spinoff of Dolores, but You Can Call Me Lolita (with additional venues in Spain). Crazy name for a restaurant, huh? Anyway, tell us, Ned. What's the story?"
"The story is that for $15.99, I can get a mojo-roasted half-chicken with spinach, artichokes, and any of the dozen soups or starters on the menu. I usually go with the Serrano ham croquettes, the creamiest around." "Well, we should remind our viewers about where we are holding this interview — we'll have to double-check the $15.99 price. That sounds a little too low. But back to you, Ned.""The same items are only $13.99 during lunch. High-rollers can go with the $19.99 dinners, like pork osso buco or sea-salted wild salmon — there are four to six choices in each price category. The highest price is $23.99, which brings veal churrasco, applewood-grilled short ribs, or miso-glazed orange roughy. Did I mention you get your choice of any starter? Plus a glass of house wine is just $4. And the dessert menu arrives in the form of a little Ferris wheel; as you spin it, small cards flip up with sweet options; a textbook cappuccino flan is just $2.50. Plus, the place used to be home to the elegant Spanish restaurant La Broche, so rather than appearing like a budget establishment, it looks like a million bucks — with a drop-dead gorgeous vista of Biscayne Bay. Outdoor tables too.""A little Ferris wheel? Desserts for $2.50 in a million-dollar waterfront setting? You like to embellish, don't you Mr. Kolopsi? Is that why you're here at this center?""No, I'm here because it's the only way they could get me out of the restaurant. I tell you, I'm crazy about Crazy About You."