Best Hummus (2012)
— I'm telling you, it's the best hummus in the world. You could travel to Israel and wouldn't find better.
— Pardon me, Saul, I think I have something stuck in my ear. I thought I heard you say the hummus at Pita Hut is better than any in Israel.
— That's what I said, Al, and I have been to that country many times. I had some hummus at Pita Hut yesterday and, holy Manischewitz, the smoothness you wouldn't believe. A baby's tuchis should only be so soft!
— You shouldn't be drinking Manischewitz this early.
— What are you saying, 'Drink Manischewitz'? Who's drinking? I tell you, the blend of chickpeas with whispers of lemon, garlic, and olive oil — such a flavor you don't get every day. And a pool of tahini rests on the hummus as lightly as a lily pad on a pond.
— Lily pad on a pond? Suddenly he's Robert Frost! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Saul Finkelstein, the poet laureate of hummus!
— Sit down and don't get so worked up. No wonder you have heart problems! I'm only saying that for $6.99, you won't get a better deal. Plus you get pita bread, of course. And Pita Hut is not just a falafel joint these days, but also a full-fledged restaurant with an extensive menu of Israeli specialties. It even serves kosher sushi!
— Better than any sushi in Israel, no doubt.
— I try to tell you about great hummus and I get sarcasm. Better you should use your energy to make it to Pita Hut. Or if you prefer, you can fly to the Promised Land and get your hummus there. But if we each live to be 110, never again will I mention hummus to you.
— That's more than fine by me. By the way Saul, have you ever tried Pita Hut's falafel? I hear it's pretty good.
— Oy vey.
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