We hate to break it to you, but your tired old back yard isn't cutting it anymore. It's cramped, it's cluttered, and it's just not bringing the sexy for the kind of balls-to-the-wall bash you aspire to have. You want this to be the best party it can be, right? Then let's rent out the craziest, kookiest, most fun and fanciful venue in the city. Bro, we're talking about Wherehouse 2016. Yeah, we said Wherehouse. What do you mean you've never heard of it?
Okay, dude, imagine this: It's a warehouse that's, like, totally hidden away in the North Miami Beach business district. It's, like, covered in art — we're talking wall-to-wall murals, huge paintings, and furniture brushed in superbright colors. This artist guy named Bruce Grayson painted everything, and whoa — he must've been on acid when he came up with this shit. It's frickin' awesome. Big dance floor, lots of comfortable couches where we can mack it to the ladies, and the place can handle it all — from catering to the DJ. No more use for your shitty iPod party playlist, dude! No offense, all right? Your taste in music is cool and all, but not for this bash. We're gonna do this old-school rave style. Trust me, dude, it's gonna be epic. You with me? Dude?