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2010 Stories by Victor Gonzalez

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  • Why Your Tattoo Artist Hates You

    Why Your Tattoo Artist Hates You

    published Oct 08, 2010

    ​For tattoo virgins, popping the ink cherry is like having sex with a chubster. Some experiences are good, and others you try and forget -- like that drunken night in Tijuana when you had a donkey t... More >>

  • Show Us DeRay

    published October 7, 2010

    Hecklers are typically drunk jerk-offs trying to impress their buddies or blind dates by stealing a comic's thunder. Starved for attention,... More >>

  • Pop Goes the Apocalypse

    published October 7, 2010

    Science fiction, thrift store shopping, and high design aren't typically lumped together in the same sentence, but when Mexican-born, Miami-based... More >>

  • Johnny Knoxville Talks <i>Jackass 3-D</i>, Testicles, and a Cuban Tarzan

    Johnny Knoxville Talks Jackass 3-D, Testicles, and a Cuban Tarzan

    published Oct 01, 2010

    ​MTV was once all about music videos. Slowly, however, the Viacom-owned network began chiseling away at the very foundation with shows like Pimp My Ride and Cribs. But the biggest jackasses at MTV w... More >>

  • Five Signs Your Parents Might Be Smoking Weed

    Five Signs Your Parents Might Be Smoking Weed

    published Oct 01, 2010

    ​The Office of National Drug policy describes marijuana as a "mixture of dried, shredded leaves, stems, seeds and flowers of the hemp plant." Stems and seeds, man? A more accurate description would'... More >>

  • Widespread Panic at the Fillmore Miami Beach, September 30

    Widespread Panic at the Fillmore Miami Beach, September 30

    published Oct 01, 2010

    ​​Widespread PanicThursday, September 30, 2010The Fillmore Miami Beach at the Jackie Gleason TheaterBetter Than: Anything else happening on the beach.Whether or not Jackie Gleason would approve of... More >>

  • Beatles Uncovered

    published September 30, 2010

    Whether you first spied the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1964, stumbled upon your parents’ copy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely... More >>

  • Roast in Peace, Greg Giraldo

    published Sep 30, 2010

    ​Is it too soon for a Greg Giraldo joke? Sure he's only been dead for a day, and accidental drug overdoses are nothing to laugh about--they're a real downer-- but Giraldo was a comedian, a d... More >>

  • "My Brother Is a Fruit"

    published Sep 30, 2010

    ​Jello pudding spokesperson and longtime funny man Bill Cosby used to host a CBS show called Kids Say the Darndest Things. He'd ask children random questions and hope for "cute" answers in return.Sh... More >>

  • Cock-Flavored Soup and Other Questionably Named Brands

    published Sep 30, 2010

    Sugar sells, especially in our pleasantly plump society. That's why The Corn Refiners Association is asking the Food and Drug Administration to start calling high-fructose corn syrup "corn sugar."Thei... More >>

  • Shakira at the American Airlines Arena, September 27

    Shakira at the American Airlines Arena, September 27

    published Sep 28, 2010

    ​View photos of Shakira at American Airlines Arena here.Shakira American Airlines Arena Monday, September 27, 2009 Better Than: Driving to Palm Beach for a show, or Palm Beach in general. I'd be l... More >>

  • Down and Out in Suburbia

    published September 23, 2010

    Any movie that tackles pedophilia, depression, and suicide will stir up a little controversy. In 1998, independent filmmaker Todd Solondz drew... More >>

  • Miami's Time-Peace Makes Watches That Prove Time Is an Illusion

    published Sep 17, 2010

    In 2009, a group of South Florida friends embarked on a philosophical journey to change society's perception of clock-time and created a watch company based on four principles: perception, interconnec... More >>

  • Gramps Humps Trash

    published September 16, 2010

    Have you ever fantasized about having sex with an inanimate object? Does watching an elderly gentleman bang a pile of trash tickle your fancy? If... More >>

  • Kar Gar on Photographing ArtOfficial and Afrobeta, and Her Love of Sour Cream

    Kar Gar on Photographing ArtOfficial and Afrobeta, and Her Love of Sour Cream

    published Sep 15, 2010

    Whether you're a shady politician or a pot-smoking running back, you have to hustle in Miami to a make a name for yourself. Sometimes it's for money, other times it's for a shot at fame, but how often... More >>

  • Five Reasons You Should Date a Chubster

    Five Reasons You Should Date a Chubster

    published Sep 14, 2010

    ​Some of us have the body of a peanut M&M. Our arms are skinny, our legs lack any real muscular definition, 'cause we've also got a belly full of peanut M&Ms. We've tried melting it down a... More >>

  • Will the Real Joe Flanigan Please Stand Up?

    published Sep 07, 2010

    ​Last week we met Joe Turino, a contestant vying for the final spot of the second annual Joe Flanigan look-alike contest. His mission was simple: to be crowned the best Joe Flanigan look-alike in Hi... More >>

  • Joe Flanigan Look-Alike Contest

    published Sep 01, 2010

    ​Every year, the city of London, Kentucky pays tribute to the king of processed chicken, Colonel Sanders, in September with a look-alike contest. In Key West, tourists celebrate Hemingway Days, wher... More >>

  • Why Last Night's Emmys Sucked: Jimmy Fallon

    published Aug 30, 2010

    ​Last night, Jimmy Fallon hosted the 62nd annual Primetime Emmy Awards, and he got about as many laughs as Hurricane Katrina, which hit five years ago yesterday. Relying on a guitar, "funny" songs, ... More >>

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