Email Author Sebastian del Mármol

2011 Stories by Sebastian del Mármol

• Seven Iconic Moments in Miami History Deserving of Statues

  published Aug 12, 2011

  We've soured a bit on public art in this city. What with proliferation of Romero Britto and all manner of silly animals being idolized like heathen gods. We blame Chicago for the latter, after all it ... More >>

• Celebrity Photog Robert Zuckerman's "Portraits" Opens at Betsy Hotel

  published Aug 12, 2011

  Miami might be suffering through  summer doldrums when it comes to its cultural offerings, but somebody forgot to tell that to a pair of photographers opening heavyweight exhibits in the next wee... More >>

• Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie to Marryr Ten Other Kids Characters Who Are Obviously Gay

  published Aug 11, 2011

  Admittedly, our gaydar at Cultist is not always what it should be. We still think Justin Bieber is straight, maybe even Charlie Crist. So we don't mind admitting we were floored yesterday when we foun... More >>

• Tony Tango Video Teasers Provide Sexcellent Dance Lessons (NSFW)

  published Aug 05, 2011

  It's been almost a year since Cultist first wrote about Tony Tango, that locally shot indie comedy about a dancing fool by the same name, and the project is still struggling to waltz its way into the ... More >>

• Five Reasons To Doubt the Future of the Miami Entertainment Complex

  published Aug 05, 2011

  Ordinarily, Cultist likes to steer clear of government meetings and politicians (we leave that junk for our Riptide brothers!). So you'll excuse us if we're a bit late in reporting on an important vot... More >>

• New Book Cuba TV Focuses on Island's Television Culture

  published Aug 04, 2011

  Remember back in the day when the whole family sat around the living room watching the Honeymooners or The Ed Sullivan Show or Bonanza on a behemoth boob tube and stand that took up half of the space ... More >>

• Cameron Diaz and A-Rod Spotted at South Miami Starbucks; Defeat New Times Staffer in Brief Battle of Wits

  published Aug 03, 2011

  That's the great thing about Miami. One minute you're taking advantage of free Wi-Fi at Starbucks and the next you get verbally served by Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez. Diaz and A-Rod walked into th... More >>

• Five Non-Sport Reasons to Watch Futbol Club Barcelona Tomorrow at Sun Life

  published Aug 02, 2011

  If you never understood soccer -- what with its low scoring and insistence on using your feet instead of hands -- but are open enough to admit that there may be something to a sport that the entire wo... More >>

• South Miami Manatees Are Latest Wussy Animals in Street Art Program

  published Jul 29, 2011

  The South Miami Manatees join the infamous list of animals found loitering along sidewalks and public right of ways as part of misguided art in public places programs. The movement may have started wi... More >>

• Queens Finals for Miss National Teenage Pageant Coming to Colony Theatre

  published Jul 29, 2011

  We take a perverse pleasure in making fun of all things beauty pageant related. We rattle off reasons why the events are arcane, badmouth seemingly well intentioned pageants in underprivileged areas l... More >>

• U.S. World Cup Hero Abby Wambach in Miami for Soccer Festival

  published Jul 26, 2011

  Admit it, you were swept up by the passion of soccer this month when U.S.Women's World Cup soccer team made a heroic run to the final game, only to get your heart broken when they lost in penalty kick... More >>

• Jennifer Lopez Goes on Miami Birthday Blitz to Cure Break-Up Blues

  published Jul 25, 2011

  We don't mean she got stinkin' drunk, though we're not saying she didn't either (she did party pretty hard at, among other places, the Wine Cellar at the Forge). We just mean she celebrated her birthd... More >>

• Five Birthday Wishes For Miami This Sunday

  published Jul 22, 2011

  The City of Miami turns 115 years old on Sunday. That seems old, we know, but really it's quite young for a major metropolitan city in this country. Maybe that explains why our fair city, while an exo... More >>

• Fools of Fashion Clothing Line Brings Street Style to Locals

  published Jul 21, 2011

  We just finished with Swim Week. Fashion Week comes at the end of winter/start of spring. And everyday in the Magic City seems like an exercise in a city-wide catwalk - what with all the fashionistas ... More >>

• New York Times Still on Anti-Graffiti Kick With Dumbass Article

  published Jul 20, 2011

  And to think some people continue to look up to the New York Times (even after that whole Jayson Blair unpleasantness). Even with legions of Casey Anthonys cavorting in our midst, it turns out th... More >>

• Miami All Stars Take Local Cliches National in Semifinals of America's Got Talent

  published Jul 18, 2011

  Don't you just love it when something so distinctly Miami puts the Magic City in the national spotlight, and that something doesn't involve a collective hatred from the rest of the country for our bel... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Cuban Horror Flick Juan of the Dead Proves Dissidents Are Zombies (Video)

  published Jul 15, 2011

  "Juan of the Dead. We kill your beloved ones. How can I help your" That's a line from the star of what's being called Cuba's first horror flick, Juan of the Dead, and yeah, it's freaking awesome. From... More >>

• South Beach Tow Might Be Worst Reality TV Show Ever: A Definite Must See

  published Jul 15, 2011

  Just when you thought reality TV couldn't sink any lower...wait a second. We've already used that line, several times. The truth is there are no depths to which reality shows will not sink. Have you h... More >>

• Rick Scott Is Evil, Xavier Suarez Is Still Loco, Palestinians Battle Onstage, and Potter Mania

  published Jul 14, 2011

  We don't begrudge the Internet. We wouldn't be writing and you wouldn't be reading this if we did. But there's something about print that just can't be replicated. Maybe it's how natural it feels to r... More >>

• Five Sweatiest Scenes in Movie History

  published Jul 13, 2011

  God damn it's hot. So hot that the big guy upstairs doesn't mind us using blasphemy to describe the weather lately -- he's even been going around Miami saying "how bout that heat" lately. And it's tha... More >>

• Want to Punch Octomomr Nadya Suleman to Box in South Florida

  published Jul 12, 2011

  What is it about Florida and fucked-up momsr We either produce them, like once-alleged baby-killer Casey Anthony (not guilty our ass!), or we recruit them, like Nadya "Octomom" Suleman, also known as ... More >>

• Five Worst Calls to Get at Work and How to Deal With Them

  published Jul 08, 2011

  Most of us spend our days caged in a cubicle glaring at a computer screen or fielding calls from unappreciative pricks. But at least work can be a break from some of the other headaches in life: a san... More >>

• Brickell on Brickells on Brickell

  published July 7, 2011

  Go figure. Beth Brickell, who wrote William and Mary Brickell: Founders of Miami and Fort Lauderdale, shares an uncommon name with... More >>

• Horny Bowling

  published July 7, 2011

  Bowlers and rhinos have a lot in common. Both are among the least respected of their kind. Bowlers are viewed as pseudo-sportsmen, more concerned... More >>

• Cumbia Countdown

  published July 7, 2011

  For every Colombian Pablo Escobar, there’s a Colombian Gabriel García Márquez (ahem, he’s a Nobel Prize-winning novelist).... More >>