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2008 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

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  • Tom Cruise's Risky Business in Valkyrie

    published December 25, 2008

    Claus Philipp Maria Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg — a lot of name for a lot of guy. Born into aristocracy in 1907, he was a soldier by the... More >>

  • The Spirit Sneaks into Theaters

    published December 25, 2008

    With the fanboys eagerly eying Zack Snyder's Watchmen adaptation, Frank Miller's version of The Spirit sneaks into theaters... More >>

  • Just Say No to Jim Carrey's Yes Man

    published December 18, 2008

    For so major a movie star — at least, once upon a time — Jim Carrey seems to make a lot of awfully minor films, several of them... More >>

  • Witherspoon and Vaughn's Yuletide Carol Is Four Christmases Too Many

    published November 27, 2008

    To brand, and then dismiss, Four Christmases as a disappointment would be giving it too much credit — never, for a second, did... More >>

  • Latest James Bond Flick, Quantum of Solace, Confuses and Bores

    published November 13, 2008

    Those of us who adored Casino Royale, the 2006 reboot of the haggard, self-parodic James Bond franchise, had some trouble trying to... More >>

  • Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

    published November 13, 2008

    The five-year-old didn't laugh as much as his 40-year-old father, which, granted, isn't the basis upon which to conclude too much. Then again,... More >>

  • Paul Rudd in Role Models

    published November 6, 2008

    Paul Rudd wears the constant look of glazed-eye amusement; everything seems to tickle him, even that which annoys or frustrates or disappoints... More >>

  • Kevin Smith Blows His Wad with Zack and Miri Make a Porno

    published October 30, 2008

    Ostensibly, Zack and Miri Make a Porno should be money-shot Kevin Smith: Pals make a porn to pay the bills and, in the process of... More >>

  • Edward Norton in Pride and Glory

    published October 23, 2008

    Pride and Glory doesn't make any effort to disguise precisely what it is: a barely held-together string of vignettes lifted from every... More >>

  • Shia LaBeouf Can't Save Tepid Eagle Eye

    published October 2, 2008

    Director D.J. Caruso fancies himself a hipster Hitchcock, with Shia LaBeouf as his snarky Jimmy Stewart. Last year the duo remade Rear... More >>

  • Sex Crime

    published September 25, 2008

    There's a whole lotta fucking going on in Choke, Clark Gregg's adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk's first-person novel about a sex addict... More >>

  • Not to Be

    published August 21, 2008

    In its final 10 minutes, Hamlet 2 is little more than chaos, noise, and nonsense, and those are 10 perfectly enjoyable minutes. It's... More >>

  • Apocalypse Whatever

    published August 14, 2008

    Early buzz out of Hollywood pegged Tropic Thunder, directed and co-written by star Ben Stiller, as the end-all and be-all of movie-biz... More >>

  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars

    published August 14, 2008

    George Lucas, that greedy visionary, is now in the infomercial-manufacturing business — the pitchman forever selling rehashed product to... More >>

  • True Bromance

    published August 7, 2008

    On the surface, Pineapple Express offers precisely what it advertises: a roll-'em-up, smoke-'em-up, blow-'em-up bromantic comedy from... More >>

  • Space Chimps

    published July 24, 2008

    Dad, which was your favorite part of Space Chimps?" the four-year-old asked the day after a media sneak peek. "Dunno, Harry. Probably... More >>

  • Journey to the Center of the Earth

    published July 10, 2008

    Let's be clear about one thing: Journey to the Center of the Earth is more a demo reel than a narrative feature. It's a decent if overly... More >>

  • Superzero

    published July 3, 2008

    The Sixth Sense, starring Bruce Willis as a dead man, was writer-director M. Night Shyamalan's breakthrough, but its followup,... More >>

  • Robots in Love

    published June 26, 2008

    Many will attempt to describe WALL-E with a one-liner. It's R2-D2 in love. 2001: A Space Odyssey starring The Little Tramp. An... More >>

  • Now Playing

    published June 19, 2008

    What a bunch of nonsense — effective nonsense, chilling nonsense, occasionally wrenching nonsense, but nonsense nonetheless. This is what... More >>

  • The Not Terrible Hulk

    published June 12, 2008

    In recent days, Universal has been running a TV spot for The Incredible Hulk that gives away what should come as no surprise to any... More >>

  • Now Playing

    published May 29, 2008

    Boorish tae kwon do instructor Fred Simmons (Danny McBride) is a strip-mall hero for whom demonstrating his cinder-block-breaking skills to... More >>

  • Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Sad Decline

    published May 22, 2008

    Here's your hat, Indy, but, really, what's your hurry? Because 19 years after the Last Crusade that clearly wasn't, and 15 years after... More >>

  • Now Playing

    published May 8, 2008

    First-time writer-director Helen Hunt stars as April Epner, a schoolteacher desperate to have a child before she turns 40 (Hunt herself turns... More >>

  • Here Comes the Bride. Yawn.

    published May 1, 2008

    In Made of Honor, Patrick Dempsey plays a conveniently rich and willfully single serial "fornicator" slowly but surely domesticated by... More >>

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